Moments

I Won't Give Up

"I'm not giving up trying to get them to respect you."

"I'm not like Perrie or Eleanor or Dani. I stick out like a sore thumb, like Simon at your shows. You know?"

"I know. You can't get everyone to like you, but they can at least respect you. That's my bottom line. Otherwise I'll tweet something about it. Even if you don't mind, I mind. It means something to me that they respect you. It's just like any other stranger you meet. You wouldn't be rude on purpose to someone, would you? No."

"I was expecting it by the time I decided what my heart wanted. I've been on El's end of the hate with her, I know the calibre." I pull away from Niall's tight hug. Too tight. "If it's absolutely out of control then you don't have to be with me. If they're going to revolt, bring hate signs to concerts or whatever, we can, you know…"

"No. I'm not having any of it. I'm not giving up on us." Back to the tight hug, but not constricting, this time. He's not squeezing me around the lungs. Not gonna die of asphyxiation this time. He started singing quietly, words almost unintelligible. "Well I won't give up, on, us… even if the skies, get rough, I'm givin' you all my love, I'm still lookin' up…"

"I love you." I felt my guts jump as the proclamation pretty much rolled out of my mouth. And as silence fills the space, I think he won't say it back.

"Love you too." And I'd thought it wouldn't happen. Who knew I'd be the first to say this? It's only been a couple of months since that fateful day. I dunno the exact period of time, I haven't kept track. "We've got another tour coming up. I'm gonna be gone for a good 9 months. It's a long time."

"I can come visit. El always does."

"Management restricted the time we can have visitors. It's only while we're in Europe."

"Good thing I haven't forgotten all my German. I can't say really complex things but I know how to say 'potato'."

"Yes. The all important potato."

"And I can take directions as well. As long as they're not really fast. I can't help with many other languages though."

"I can't pretend I understand French at all."

"Don't worry, even Louis stuffs up his French all the time. Back in the day when he was at school. He always said if he was to have a family he'd have more than a little trouble raising kids to not be absolutely berserk."

"You know, I want to settle down in a couple years' time, have kids, a family…"

"Time to go to sleep. And don't make me squeal like last night, or Liam will think his dirty thoughts."

"That's just Liam."

"But if you didn't catch me unaware, I wouldn't have done that and Liam wouldn't have had spoken to you this morning."

"I told him it wasn't what he thought."

"Sucks for you, don't it?"

"What?"

"Me and my stubbornness. Not wanting to."

"It only goes ahead if you want to. And hey, no means no."

"Good night."

"Night, baby." He kissed my nose, something that brings him very close to do. "You've got work tomorrow."

"Yeah. Need to see that kid you said was so adorable."

"I'm dropping you off there, right?"

"Right. Got a long day tomorrow."