numb

thirty-eight (part 2)

i stand in the middle of the train tracks with a blunt in between my lips and a bottle clutch in my hand. i'm getting high and reminiscing, that's the worst thing you can do. the more you think, the more you sink but I can't control myself.

*
i sat in the back of landon's black van as the driver pulled into my driveway. my nerves were everywhere because i knew as of now, i can't turn back. i can't just call it off, not after all the planning. my hands began to sweat and heart starts to race as everyone gets out the van and walk towards the front door.

kicking the door in, landon walk in casually first, then me, then his bodyguards. i can still see the surprised look on my dad's face as he glance over us. his eyebrows knitted and eyes wondering just a bit. he was drunk.

"what's going on here?" he demanded to know.

"oh, big fella. if only you knew.." landon pulled out his gun and pointed it right at my dad's head.

i could see the fear in his eyes as both went back and forth to me then landon.

there was nothing i could do to save him but i guess there was nothing i wanted to do at the time.
*

i was ripped out of my flashback by screaming but it was soon drowned out by the loud rattling noise from the tracks and rumbling engines. i snap my head to the left to see freya looking at me with horror.

"cole, move!" i look behind me to see the train moving rapidly towards me. it's so close i know i'll only have 20 seconds to move out the way. "cole!"

my aching body forcefully walk off the tracks. my frown never moving.

"why are you here?" i ask after the train rushed past behind me.

"cole..." freya's eyes are glossy and her mouth gaps shakily.

"you shouldn't be here."

"it's a good thing i was." she sounded more mad then sad. "why are you an asshole? do you want to leave me that bad?"

"no." i reply.

"i've grown attached to you cole, and you leaving me now would only kill me inside." she sniffled.

"i'm sorry freya.. i'm just so messed up." my voice sounding weak.

"i still want you and all your flaws." with those last words flowing out her mouth, every fight i had left in me shut down.

leaning down and crashing our lips together. maybe it's the high that's causing this but i'd rather not think about it. her lips were soft and inviting. deepening the kiss, her arms clamps around my neck for support. snaking my arms around her waist then clinging her closer.

my heart seem to speed up, it's so fast now that i could die from a heart attack. it felt like the world disappeared as her lips caresses mine.

freya being the one to break the moment.

"i like you and you're just going to have to deal with that." she look at me for consent.

"i like you too." my voice low and insecure.

"come on, you're still healing. also, promise me you'll stop drinking and smoking so much." her eyes were big and glistening from the moonlight.

i say nothing, only plant my lips back on hers. kisses are promises too but words sealed them and my promises are like every bottle i smash, empty.

A/N:
I won't be updating for awhile until I figure out how I'm gonna set up these chapters so I can end the book.