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The Letter (epilogue)

 
Dear Jordan Lacy,

Remember when I was 9 and you told me to never fall in love with someone because at the end it will all be for nothing?

Don't take this offensively but you were wrong.
I never thought I would date a guy like him. Cole was different, way different. He looks at me with admiration and warmth. I never knew what that felt like until now. He's also white and was suicidal, but honestly, can I really judge?

But even with all of that
that isn't what makes him different.
He's truly different because we're the same. He gets me, he understands. He doesn't turn away when I act a bit crazy.

Before- I dated a guy who belittled me, shamed me, treated me like i was nothing and i accepted that. Maybe that was because I never had you in my life to show me how a man suppose to treat me and for awhile I believed every word you said then this pale skin suspicious guy walked in my job and changed my whole life.

Someone once said, "we accept the love we think we deserve."

He accepted me and I, him.
Honestly, I feel like Cole is the one I deserve.

Cole once said that he would go to the moon without a space suit for me if I needed him to,
corny? Yeah, I know but I'm happy.

I can imagine myself getting married to this guy, carrying his children, sending our kid off to school, and growing old together. I assume you never wanted that but I do.

I wish you could see me now dad. You'll be proud of the woman I've become and the past things I've survived through to get here. You would be proud, I know you would.

But, I guess you accepting me doesn't matter anymore because I've found someone I know will treat me great without you in my life. I'm in a great college, great grades, I still have an amazing mom, and although I'm still carrying my mental illness on my shoulder I still deal with it. I never really needed you. Honestly, you were weighing me down but I've learn from someone very important to me that you have to let go of the past. That your mistakes or misfortunes doesn't define you. It took a while for him to understand that but he did and he inspired me.

The day you walked out our house, I thought that was the end of my life. I thought I will never be normal or happy but dad, my life is just beginning.

I hope you're enjoying your life like I am with mine because I know you had troubles but I'm not bitter so I want you to get through it.
One more thing before I go dad, I forgive you.

Love Always,
Freya Marie Lacy