Unlike You

Five

"Lawrence, seventeen when I was arrested, my birthday will be in a few months. I was taken in for assault and battery to a police officer," Lawrence says, his deep voice slicing through the air like a knife.

The smirk never leaves my face as Lawrence lifts his eyes to mine. I cock up my eyebrow as if saying: 'is that all you got?'

His scowl deepens, but his piercingly grey eyes never leave mine. The voices of the other delinquents are just background noise as Lawrence's eyes distract me. They flick around slightly, examining my face. A smile smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he continues to look me over. His eyes move from my face to my chest, to my stomach, to my bent knees, then finally my feet.

As if a switch went off in his brain, he frowns and looks away. Okay, then.

Before I know it, the meeting is over and we are dismissed. Dale shakes my hand, welcoming me to the group before stalking off to the back of the stage. I watch as the many other participants file out through the large door in single file, as if they've done this so many times, the order is set up perfectly. They remind me of robots. All moving in sync by some unspoken force of thought that drags them through that door and back again. 

I hope I never fall into that. By that I mean, JDD. Which to us delinquents stands for 'Juvenile Delinquent Depression'. Being in a JDC, it does something to a person. Imagine, even for a day, that you are pulled from a warm, loving family- if you're lucky of course- and being thrown into some strange prison for young children. It is a pretty rude awakening. The places are filled with people who either hate you and want to kill you, or people who just avoid you at all costs. You start to feel lonely. Broken. As if your life had somehow hit its peak at the age of sixteen and now your life is at an all time low. 

You know you've hit rock bottom when you have JDD. It's like being dead, but your not actually dead, you're actually pretty alive for that matter and the only thing that really keeps you going is a person or some force that we believe in. Like God and such. Dana and Sharon are really the only reasons I'm not some thoughtless robot like the rest. 

Staying strong for myself means staying strong for them. I mean, yeah, eventually it becomes tedious, having to hold not only your weight, but everyone else's. It's like an invisible weight on your shoulders. As if you were to put the person, who you are currently holding their weight, on your shoulders. 

Metaphorically, of course.

But imagine. Every time another person's problems become your burden, you throw them onto your shoulders. The weight becomes overbearing and it's to the point where you can barely move your legs. 

That's what those kids are going through. Every. Single. One of them.

As the last kid leaves, I feel a presence somewhere in the auditorium. My eyes scan the space around me, but no signs of any person is here. As far as I can see at least.

"Obstruction of justice," a deep voice booms through the auditorium. The voice clearly belongs to Lawrence who I didn't see leave the large room.

"I don't want to hear it," I mutter loud enough that Lawrence can hear me, no matter where he is in the auditorium.

"Don't you think Joy is a bit of an ironic name?" he asks. I can't decipher where he is since his voice is bouncing from one side of the room to the other, like some kind of shitty surround sound.

"I don't know what your talking about," I respond.

I start to make my way to the door trying to ignore the taunting tone in Lawrence's voice. I go to push the door open, but a large arm blocks me. I glare up at Lawrence who's smirk is larger than life itself.