We Made It- Mashton

chapter four

Ashton's pov

Boys now!"

I heard the stage manager shout, snapping the eye contact from me and Michael, both of us walking over to the stage "this isn't over" Michael whispered into my ear, leaving shivers down my back, watching as Luke and Calum came towards us both "where were you??" Luke asked making me let out a sigh "I was..I was ju-"

"3-2-1 go!" The stage management said and we all quickly got into place, exposing ourselves to the fans, no, family. I couldn't help but let out a grin, seeing the happiness and insane atmosphere grow.

I hit the first few beats of the intro, hearing the fans get louder and louder, Carry on began and soon changed into money.

I couldn't help but keep my gaze to Michael, watching how he would play with so much passion and love, how a few drops of sweat would drop from his forehead which made him appear more attractive then I could ever think.

The concert seemed to have gone quick which was a shame, its the only place I fully feel accepted of being me, currently me, the boys and hey violet members were back on the tour bus, nothing special but having a good time but I had decided to go back to my bunk after a short of time, I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. Trying to think of anything that could distract myself from my worries "no sleeping!" I heard someone yell, making me jump and bang my head on the top of the bunk, I let out a pained groan and heard a laugh that belonged to Michael, creating that butterfly feeling in my stomach.

"Oh god, you make me laugh" Michael said with a chuckle yet calming down from his laughing fit, I looked at him with an unamused face "Clifford you are a special kind of person, as in you belong in a retard asylum" "well thank you my kind sir" he said and parked his butt on my bunk, leaving some room between us "so, now tell me what's up" he said as he closed the curtain and directed his gaze on me. Excuses didn't rush to my head, not having time to think of a good one I just blurted out with "er I er, I dunno, I lost track of time?" Which came out more as a question "you arent fooling me with that" I sighed, knowing he was right "ash" he said and moved a little closer "you have no idea how worried we all were, you have no idea how much I was panicking. And I know your sorry but I just want to know why, it doesn't seem like something you would do" "I know I know.." "Then why?" "Because.." "Because?" "Michael I just-I can't and the stupid-" I let out a frustrated sigh, this was coming out as a mess. "Hey its okay, take your time" I heard him say and pat my shoulder, in a brotherly or friendship way, this is exactly just what I didn't want.

"Michael please just go." "Asht-" "Michael please! J-just go okay?!" I said and regretting it instantly after seeing the frown and hurt eyes placed on him "Michael no I mean, I-" I started but got caught off by him opening the curtain and getting down "its okay, I understand" he said with a small sad smile, closing the curtain after him and hearing him walk away back to the others.

What am I doing??, I'm being a complete asshole to the guy I have loved for years! He was being nice and caring yet I had to push him away didn't I?, I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to come up with an answer on what he meant, does he know? No. He can't know, he will hate me for being like this. He will hate me and I can't live with that. It has to stay a secret that only I know, that only my lonely self knows.

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Well I need a medal for finally updating! XD I start college next week and I don't know how busy I will be so I'm trying to do as many chapters or draft as many chapters as I can for all my fanfics. Anyway I hope you enjoyed.

I love y'all and stay safe! Xoxo