The Beginning of the End (Editing)

Thirteen : Move

It took Lochie a lot of convincing to get me to finally leave that place. A hell of a long time, actually. It's pitch black now and we're about ten minutes away from that camp site thing. When we get into town we're going straight to Eleanors place. I don't know exactly what I'm going to do or how to fix this, but I've got to try and mend that bond somehow.

I should have known that even trying was too far fetched. I actually did know, but no. I decided to think optimistically for once which was the worst idea I have ever made in my goddamn life. That's why I don't think optimistically, I don't look to the brighter side of things because I know for a fact that my hopes will be let down- no, they'll be drop kicked to China.

I mean, I guess I don't regret doing it to an extent. She knows now, I'm not hurting myself by holding it all in. It was and still is an emotion that I felt obligated to keep bottled up. But that's the thing about bottling things up, the pressure in you builds and one day you just have to pop open. Then there's the release and all that tension is lifted off of your back. That's why I don't regret it.

But now there's a new weight on my shoulders, what will happen now? I don't know if I am physically or mentally capable of staying away from her. She has this magnetic field that draws everyone in, especially me. She has me hooked, so hooked and I really barely mind. The only thing I do mind is the twat next to me who is definitely ruining my shot.

"Why did she leave crying, dipshit?" He asks for the billionth time, although this time he changed up the ending word to the sentence. How creative of him, I was getting real bored of being called a faggot. I know he's never been too good at English but I didn't realize he was this bad.

"You need to step up your vocabulary game, Lochie. Your insults couldn't get much worse" I retort. But you literally just called him a twat.

"Stop avoiding the question, Kyle. I don't know what happened back there but I know it wasn't good" He calmly mutters. You know, I'm kind of surprised that he hasn't tried to snap my neck since I've been in here. I thought that seeing someone hurt his girl would be reason enough to put me in the ground.

I'm not answering him, I don't want to. It's immature, yes, but I just don't feel the need to make him aware of the promise that I kept to her. I wonder if he knows? Would Eleanor tell him? I really don't know if she'd share something like that with him. Would she?

I honestly wouldn't know. I don't even know if she's told anyone but me. There are never questions asked about her family or who she lives with. She is just a secret that she won't let anybody keep. Well, apart from me of course. But is Lochie special enough to her to be trusted to keep her secrets?  I'm assuming that the only thing he knows about her is her bra size. Maybe other irrelevant bits and bobs but other than that I guess to him she's just a present waiting to be opened. 

"Has Eleanor ever mentioned a promise to you?" Obviously not, idiot. His literally up her ass every night. "Uh, what I meant to say was, has she ever told you about her parents?" I ramble, looking at him for some sort of response. His eyebrows furrow. Obviously she hasn't told him.

"Not that I know, why?" He looks at me momentarily before looking back at the road. Well there's my answer. Why has she only ever told me? "What the fuck is that?"

I follow in his lead and look out the windshield to see a orangey-red glow illuminate the dark from down the dip from the road to the tress just ahead of us. As we come closer, Lochie slows down. I guess we're going to be investigating. We pull over next to the glow and I can hear it, the crackle of a blazing fire.

"Come on, lets see if these people need some help" He opens his door and gets out, so I follow. Through the dark, the fire illuminates the steel fencing along the road, well, what's left of it anyway. Whatever came through here came through with a hell of a force. I feel my head pulse for reasons that I'm scared to think about. Don't be delusional, Kyle. 

I step closer the rail, slowly. When I meet paths with it, I feel my world come crashing down. A cherry red car with smoke swallowing it beneath the rage of the fire. Oh god no.

"Eleanor!" I yell before jumping down the ditch. I hear Lochie yelling for me from atop but I don't give a shit, I need to find Eleanor. Did she get out? Is she still in the car? Where the fuck is my girl? Where is she? "Eleanor where are you?" I yell again, in hopes for a reply. I feel the fire scorch at my skin as embers fly around me. I can't tell if its sweat or tears raining down my face.

I walk around the car and glance up to see Lochie on the phone. When I look back down I see the collision between the front of the car and a wide stumpy tree. The sight resembles a scrunched up piece of paper that's been carelessly thrown at a trash can, but this piece definitely didn't miss. 

"God," I look at it wide eyed and blurry. I follow the damage up to the shattered windshield and my mind flashes back to last night. Visions of glass and liquor swirl but I push them to the side, not now. But I look through it and see her. Bleeding and lifeless in the front seat to elsewhere. 

I don't hear it but I feel it, the yelling and the panic just like last night. I find myself on top of the crushed car and reach for her. I'm scorching, I feel blood trickle down my arm to her and yet I couldn't care about anything more than watching and saving the girl who I've watched live. The only difference is, the pulse that she's lived on may not be there, alive, beating. I feel the fabric of her shirt and pull it with everything I have in me. As if it was almost too easy, I heave her out of this shield-less windshield and away from that deathtrap. 

Gently, I place her on the ground. She looks so, gone. Her face has been distorted by an eraser that couldn't get the job done. Black and blotchy with blue-eyes closed. I shake her, but she doesn't move. I press down onto her chest repeatedly, but she doesn't move. There's only few things left for me to do, and one option could have my blood run cold instead of hers. I quickly look up to the road and Lochie isn't anywhere to be seen. Do it you idiot! Do you want her to live or not?

Hesitantly, I lower myself down to her face while scanning for anything, something. The slightest twitch or movement of any sort. Nothing. I close my eyes and fulfill a dream of our lips meeting, but instead of tasting like the imagined minty cinnamon, I taste the fire. The burning sensation of charcoal, but I like it. Instead of her giving me life, I'm hopefully giving hers to her. Hopefully. As I pull away, my eyes scan her face once more.

She doesn't move. 

Authors Note

okeh. okeh. 

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