Our Secret (MCD Vylad X Reader)

A Shaman's War

Well, the world is a cruel mistress sometimes...

"Oh Laurence! How long has it been since I've seen your stupid, STUPID face?! It's been so long since I've last seen you!" Her trick for today is forcing me to know of the Chicken Shaman's existence and plausible immortality.

"Cadenza? Cadenza, wait!"

"NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!" Cadenza has jumped the ship, leaving the three of us to deal with... All of this.

"Cadenza is... Well, WHATEVER! Laurence, my best friend! It has been TOO LONG since I've seen your stupid face! Let's see, how long has it been? Probably 1... 2... 3... or chicken..." He mutters off, extremely close to Laurence to an uncomfortable degree. It almost hurts to bare witness to, hurts to once again be in the presence of the Chicken Shaman and his herd of chicken people.

"Uhh... I'm pretty sure 4 comes after 3-" Aphmau interrupts, insensitively. Even I know not to correct the counting of the chicken people. Time and numbers work differently for them than us, it's just common sense.

"HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY PEOPLE'S COUNTING SYSTEM, YOU AWFUL, UN-" His attention turns away from Laurence, seething agitation going to Aphmau as he makes his way into her personal bubble. I shield my face from view, moving away from my spot beside her and hiding behind Laurence instead. Aph's on her own, even if things are a little tense with me and Laurence right now, "You! You're that TERRIBLE Chicken House Builder!"

"Ughhhhhh, I was hoping to Irene you forgot about that..." How can anyone just forget that? It was one of the highlights of last season?

"How could I FORGET? You are the one who saved my peoples after all," The Chicken Shaman continues in a matter-of-fact tone. The feathers of his attire flow in the wind as he speaks, somehow majestic. Or, it would be if I weren't so distracted by his chickens. They were circling me like I was some sacrifice for their Chicken Divine Warrior and I was more than concerned for my well-being.

"W-WAT?!"

"You see, Terrible Chicken House Builder, it turns out your ugly, gross, garishly designed and ugly, horrible houses-" He was really getting on her ass about how much he hated those houses, "-were miraculously (insert joke about Miraculous Ladybug for ✨reference to the original version of the chapter✨ 😋 cause content) and unexpectedly able to save some of my peoples from that onslaught of guards who attacked this area 15 years ago. YOU are a HERO, Terrible Chicken House Builder! We have even planned on building a STATUE for you; To Terrible Chicken House Builder!"

"Uhhh"

"It probably will be made of... feathers!" He's proud as he walks around us, head high and shoulders aligned. The chickens have dispersed from their circle and are now in a crowd off to the side, appearing like they're talking amongst themselves and planning the demise of something.

"You... You've gotta be kidding me..." Aphmau's exasperation is evident not just from the tone of her voice, but from the way her body slumps and her posture worsens. She perks up as a thought very obviously comes to mind, her body bouncing back to her original confusion, "Then... Then-Then WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME TERRIBLE CHICKEN HOUSE BUILDER?! SHOULDN'T I BE LIKE... TH-The Chicken Savior?! O-OR SOMETHING more dignified and not TERRIBLE?!"

"...Your name isn't Terrible Chicken House Builder?" And that's when I start tuning them out. Their conversation is reminiscent of the last time we saw the Chicken Shaman, which was 15 years ago for him, but only a little less than a month ago for us. It's weird to think about, that we've been gone for so long when it didn't even feel like that to us.

Some people have aged and matured, like Dante. He was only a recently graduated guard from the academy, young and with a sparkle in his eyes that only young adults ready to make their own mark on their own, and now he's Head Guard of Phoenix Drop, married with a beautiful cat girl for a wife and their blue-haired cat girl daughter. He's older, has eye bags and crow's feet littering his face, and his voice is deeper and raspier than I could ever hope to hear so soon.