Sandlot's Baby

Chapter 23: The Aftermath

Benny's P.O.V.

"I'm pregnant."

I always visualized myself when I would one day hear those words. My wife would surprise me with a gift such as a little baseball outfit or mini glove or baseball as a sign that we were going to have a baby. I, then would gasp and she would laugh and say the words. "I'm pregnant." and I would lift her up in my arms and spin her around.

I was finally having the chance to redeem myself from my father's faults. I was going to be a better man than my father, I was going to be a father. I would be right by my wife's side through everything, ultrasounds, classes, putting the nursery together.

I would be there for the birth, their first smile, laugh, steps, words, day of school, graduation, everything.

But the words "I'm pregnant." Didn't come from my wife as I hoped to plan...

They came from Jackie. 

I've always been in love with her, even before I met her. Just laying eyes on her you could tell what a magnificent person she is. The way she smiles shyly, her eyes always glisten back at you, but her confidence and head strong personality for when she desires something she wants, she'll be determined to collect it, which makes her seem independent in a way. To see someone to be so sophisticated and put together, it's rare to meet someone like that this young, especially when you're the same way.

Have I ever imagined Jackie as my wife in the future? Of course I have, she's anything I would ever want and need.

We just... skipped the marriage part...

I would have never thought I would be in the same situation as my parents. I never meant to disappoint my mom...

Sure I know how hard it is to raise a child. Especially this young, I've watched my mother suffer to do so, she has done the best she could.

Raising me right, teaching me compassion, respect, and good morals. She's taught me so much in life and I'm more than grateful. All I've ever wanted to do was to make her happy and most importantly proud of her son.

But I've let her down, and I hate myself for it...

It was all silence when we walked back to our house, she couldn't even make eye contact with me. I wouldn't blame her.

I love Jackie, I do. That's one of the main reasons to why I made love to her.

I'm not going to lie, I did enjoy it. It was the best night of my life.

But I fathered a child... a baby... a literal human being...

Holy. Fuck.

Can I be Dad? I've never even held a baby before, I'm so inexperienced....

I don't even have a figure to model after... how the hell am I suppose to know what to do?

How could Jackie say that to me; never want to be like your Dad right?

How? Yes, I'm in complete shock, but give me some time. But to say that? I'm nothing like Matt, nothing. At least I didn't just make up my mind out of fear and say no to our child's existence...

I hated Jackie for saying that... how could she? After knowing how sensitive I am on that subject, such disrespect...

Besides... I'm not going be a father after tomorrow... I don't know if I want the abortion to happen. Do I? I don't?

But it's happening regardless, if I end up liking it or not...

This happened way too fast, I need time to think this through...