The Forgotten One

Chapter twenty eight

I slid down at the floor and touched my lips. The lips that kissed the life out of Jasper. I trembled and raked my fingers through my hair, I gasped out as tears streamed down my face. I should be happy, right? I should be happy that he remembered me. But I'm not. I'm terrified of what will happen to him, because of me. I started to cry and started to grip at my heart. I suddenly started to lay down on the cold floor in front of the door and wrapped my arms around myself. Suddenly I heard Mickey running down the stairs and was in front of my face, he licked my nose repeatedly as I shook. He laid down in front of me and I placed my hand in the back of his head and pressed him against me. I stayed like that, because I finally had a moment of peace.

My brother remembers me. My first love remembers me. I remember me. We all remember everything about each other. And we can't do anything about it without getting caught. All because of me. All because of what I am, an illegal child. All because my mother wanted to have more children, she decided to make us all suffer and my brother still praises her as if she graced our whole house. This was her fault. Everything is her fault. I hated her for it. I hated that she did this to us. I clenched my fist and sniffed, I shut my eyes and held onto Mickey even more. Suddenly my phone rang from my back pocket causing me to shoot up right and place my back against the door causing Mickey to escape from my arms. I grabbed my phone and looked at the caller ID. It was Nate.

"H-Hello?," I answered as I placed my other hand to my chin softly.

"Ana? Hey, how are you? It's been awhile since we talked and. . . I missed you," He says softly. Tears formed in my eyes and I begin to laugh softly.

"I've missed you too-so has Mickey, of course. It's just been a little hectic lately and that's why I haven't see you in awhile," I say as I pressed my forehead onto my knees. He must have heard that my voice sounded funny.

"You've been crying," He stated. I hated that he always knew what I was feeling or how my expressions were when I could never figure him out. Ever. No matter how many times I've tried, he always manages to put on the perfect mask while I always struggle to keep it on.

"No fair, Nate. You always know how I am, when it's gonna be my turn?," I joked lightly as I felt myself grab my heart again. The tears streaming down my face again. "Give a girl a chance, will ya!"

"Anastasia, tell me what's wrong!," He said calmly.

"Jasper remembers me!," I blurted out as I looked up at the ceiling and squeezed my eyes shut.

"What? How!? When did this happen?," He demanded. I exhaled slowly trying to pull myself together.

"Just before, he kissed me and then it was like a light switch for him because he remembered everything about me," I said. I was finally calm as I looked down at the floor and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"Wait, he kissed you! I'm gonna kick his ass!," Nate shouted through the phone. I pulled my ear away from the phone as I heard a ringing in my ear for that scream. I waited for the ringing to subside and then place my phone on my ear again.

"Yes, he kissed me! I thought you knew I liked him," I said awkwardly as I tried to recall ever telling Nate that we were kinda a thing but not a thing since we couldn't go public. I bit my lip as I realized I never really told Nate. Not until Jasper thought Nate was hurting me the first time he met him. "I guess I hadn't really told you, had I?"

"No, you didn't. I always told myself that if people finally accepted having more children and you finally became public, I wouldn't allow any boy or girl, if you swing that way, to touch you," He said sternly. I felt my cheeks heat up as soon as I heard what he said. At least he would have accepted me if I had turned out to like girls like the way Nate liked girls but I didn't. I just supported people that did. I cleared my throat and looked around nervously even though no one was in the house but me and Mickey.

"W-Well I didn't really believe that we were a couple because he never really asked me out," I said as I blushed even more.

"And yet, he still kissed! Ana, I had told you to stay away from him!," Nate shouted. I winced as he did and I rubbed my forehead in frustration.

"I did! But he found me! He kept asking me why I was avoiding him, and I told him we couldn't be together and then he kissed me! Then he told me that. . . um. . . He loved me," I say sheepishly. It was complete silence at the other end and I had to press my ear to the phone to see if he was still there, thankfully, I could hear him breathing. I waited for him to say something and then he finally spoke.

"He told you, he loved you?," Nate quietly said. I wish I could see the expression on Nate's face as he said this. To see what he could be possibly be thinking about this. I bit my nails in anticipation as I waited for Nate to say something. Anything. I needed to know if Nate would accept Jasper into all of this. Into our lives like this. I finally breathed a sigh of relief as I hear him finally talk. "I thought I would have been the only one who loved you, I'm not used to sharing you. How do you feel about him?" The question stumped me. I had no idea how I felt about Jasper. He terrified me and excited me each time I saw him. Terrified of being caught with him but excited to be with him, it was like a game. A strange love game.

"I don't know actually," I replied quietly. "Each time I saw him, I was always shy and jittery. I always got butterflies in my stomach each time I sat near him, I always felt electricity each time our hands touched, he made me feel like I was the only girl there when I thought I was invisible. He made me feel essential and unique."

"You're in love with him," Nate clarified. I made a small smile as I looked down at the floor and slowly made circles, as if I was finger panting all over again, back when I was invisible and a lesser person.

"Is that what that is? It feels strange and new. Like when I climbed out of the window for the first time and I inhaled that fresh air, it feels like that. Unexpected and totally amazing," I say softly. I felt a tear drop on to my hand and then another until a I started to actually cry. I heard Nate try to comfort me but it wasn't working. I needed him to hold me like he always did when I upset. But he wasn't here. And this was the most horrible thing that could have happened to me. "Nate! I don't want you to die or Jasper to die because of me! I-I love you guys so much! So much! You guys consume me with your love! It's like I'm infected by your love! I tried! I tried making a life without you guys, but I always managed to find myself back to you guys! And I don't know what to do!"

"Ana, please! I need you to calm down! You'll wear yourself out!," I heard the panic in his voice as I started to lay down on the floor again. I closed my eyes as I panted. I couldn't take this anymore. All the pain. All the suffering. All the lies. I couldn't take it. It was like I got suck into a hole that I could never escape from. I tried to remember a day where I was completely calm, without fear or panic but I couldn't remember any. So I just stared up at the ceiling in front of my front door that led to the outside world that I was forbidden from since birth. And then I spoke in the quietest voice ever.

"Nate, I need you. I need you right now. Screw the consequences. I'm having an emotional breakdown and I need my older brother right now," I said. I hung up as soon as I finished talking. I didn't even wait for his reply. I just waited to see if my brother would screw the consequences and hold his little sister like his life depended on it.