Kind of a sequel to the first part oh well
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You tried to make amends
And I destroyed your friends
If only we could speak again
Kevin’s message is left on my phone. It’s just lyrics. Well, no, it’s much more than just lyrics. I wish he’d said something. I miss his voice. Watching his videos isn’t the same, because they’re all from before we … No, before I hurt him.
He hasn’t uploaded anything since I destroyed him. I wasn’t thinking. That’s not true; I’m lying to myself again. I was thinking quite clearly. I thought I could use him for my own physical needs, and I could, and I did. And then I messed up, because now he’s a requirement for my emotional needs. But he doesn’t know that. I don’t think he’s even spoken to anyone in months. Everyone is asking me if I know what’s wrong with him, and I keep lying to them, too. I keep lying to everyone. To Kevin, to myself, to the Creatures, to the fans… I need to stop. But how?
It’s my fault. At least I can admit it to myself. It’s my fault, it’s my fault, it’s my fault.
That doesn’t change anything, though. It’s not making him better, and it certainly doesn’t do anything for me.
I’m scared to talk to him, because what if he hates me? No, that’s not why I’m scared. I know he doesn’t hate me. His call proved as much… What, then, am I scared of?
Dipping toes, knowing well it’ll scar
Still we plunge right into love
Ignoring my reservations, I stand up, pulling on my hoodie. I walk out of the house and get in the car. It doesn’t take me long to get to his house. Without hesitation, I get out of the car, walk up to the house, and knock.
It is a few minutes before he answers. God, I’ve missed him.
But he looks terrible. Disheveled. Exhausted. Shocked.
Shocked?
“What are you doing here?” He asked, surprise evident in his tone. The exhaustion, only laced in, took a few seconds more to notice.
“I got your call,” I muttered.
He didn’t say anything. It must have occurred to him that I was still standing outside, and it was a rather cold night. He stepped back silently to let me in. I walked past him quickly and he shut the door behind me.
“That still doesn’t answer my question,” he said after a minute.
“I’m sorry, okay?” I said finally, my voice much louder than before, and he drew back slightly. "I'm sorry," I repeated. "For everything. For hurting you, for using you, for leaving you, for... I'm just so sorry, Kevin."
He stood, staring at me, almost uncomprehending. I wondered briefly if he had fallen asleep with his eyes open. I opened my mouth to repeat myself, but he found his voice before I could.
“Why didn’t you say so sooner?” He asked.
I gave him a small smile, relieved that he didn’t seem to be angry, but then he continued.
YOU ARE READING
ImmortalAnex Songfics/Oneshots
Fanfictionidk what more of a description you need like its all in the title
