ImmortalAnex Songfics/Oneshots

Return the Favour

            “Believe me, Kevin, I love you. I’d ever hurt you. You trust me, don’t you?”

 

            How could I have refused? How could I have said no to that face, that voice, those eyes? Those pleading eyes…

            And now look where it’s got me. Locked in our room, wondering whether or not I should just pull the trigger.

            It all started out beautifully. I loved him, and loved me. Or, at least, I thought he did. He put on a good show, though. Had everyone believing it. As far as I know, they still believe it. Except, I guess, Eddie and James. 

            And now look what he’s done. Well, I guess I’m partly at fault, too… he was never as he let on. Not once honest either, I bet.

            The first time his true colours shone through was about a year ago. I remember it like it was yesterday.  Up until that point, we’d been fine. I just thought he was a bit insecure was all.

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            “You don’t love me anymore, Kevin!” He yelled.

            That hurt. Of all the things he’d said to me before, that was the worst.

            “Yes I do!” I protested.

            “No you don’t! If you really loved me, we wouldn’t be in this situation!”

            I sighed. He was blaming me for his insecurities again. It’d never been this bad before. “What do you want me to say, Aleks? You’re anything but ordinary. What do you want me to do? I’ve given everything I have to you.”

            He fell silent. And then, as he always does after I offer my “reassurances,” he burst into tears. 

            “I’m s-sorry, Kevin,” he sobbed. I walked over to him and hugged him tightly. “Promise you’ll never leave me, Kevin.”

            How could I ever get away with him begging me to stay?
            “I promise.”

----

            What went wrong, I wonder? Something must’ve gone wrong somewhere. I don’t know what. He was always insecure and I was always there for him. I never loved him any less. I never thought it’d go past a few tears and some reassurance, and yet… Sometimes he went to great lengths, it seemed, to me make me feel bad about something or other. It was always something that I did, it was always my fault.

            “James never would’ve done something like that!” or “When Eddie and I were together, he’d never let himself make your mistakes, Kevin!”

            Things like that. I bit my tongue on multiple occasions, except once.

            “Well, Aleks,” I had said. “If they’re so much better than I am, why don’t you go back to them?”

            He stopped comparing me to them after that.

            It’s kind of infuriating, actually, because I dropped everything for him. I put everything on the line for him, and look what happened: train wreck after train wreck. Whether he and I could have ever properly worked I guess I’ll never know, because he wasn’t ever really honest, was he? Doubtful. He was always keeping me in the dark about something or other.