*Tara POV*
I shouldn't have told him that I needed space... I shouldn't have kissed him and again I'm trying to fall asleep while crying over a boy. I took my phone and tweeted : ''Ever met a person that means the world to you but the timing right now isn't right.'' I looked at my mentions and I saw that I got a lot of mentions saying : ''OMG SAM FOLLOWED YOU'' ''CONGRATZ GURL I WISH I WAS YOU''. Shit... I was on the O2Loving account. I don't feel like deleting this tweet , besides he knows how I feel... hopefully.
~flashback~
''I love you Sam, but it's just the wrong timing'' I said. ''But, Tara why did you kissed me then?'' Sam asked upset. I could tell he was about to cry again. ''Because, I honestly love you and I would do anything to be your girlfriend, doing cute things with you, spending time with you, but right now my mind is a mess. It doesn't know what it wants.'' my tears were boiling inside of me. ''Maybe you shouldn't listen to your brain but to your heart'' Sam grabbed my arms. I saw his tears streaming down his face. I can't see him being so upset so I took a step away. ''I'm sorry to put you down, Sam. I love you'' I tried to say. I walked away from him. When I looked back I saw him crying even harder than he did before. Great Tara, you just made the person who you love the most cry and broke him.
Once I got home, my mom started to scream at me. ''How dare you Tara, to walk away from a dinner from our lovely neighbour. And I got a call from your head master telling me you aren't doing well on school. What are you doing on school? Why aren't you focusing!'' Right now I couldn't care a single shit about what my mom had to say about school, but yet I felt anger inside of me. '' Maybe because I want to go back home. If I was home ,in the Netherlands, I wouldn't have met Damon. I wouldn't feel so fragile!'' I said trying to keep my tone down. '' Oh, I see it's about Damon.'' My mom said. ''NO, it isn't about Damon at all mom. Don't you freaking understand, that it is maybe really hard for me to forget about my friends in the Netherlands. How I feel alone in a country I don't even know, maybe that's why I'm not doing well right now, because this whole thing, this whole life is new to me.'' I paused to take a breath. ''And mom, if you really knew your own daughter, you would have noticed that I'm really depressed lately. Ever since we moved here I've changed a lot. I went from this bubbly girl to the insecure girl.'' I continued. ''Don't tell me I don't know my own daughter.'' my mom interupted me. ''Well, you obviously don't.'' I said. ''Okay Tara, that's enough go up to your room now !'' ''Yeah, Whatever''. I stormed to my room, slammed the door shut, collapsed on my knees and began to cry.
No matter what I do it's never good enough for anyone. Never.
~back to the present~
I walked to my window frame ,since I couldn't sleep, and sat on it ,while watching the full moon. I wish I was a supernatural and could compel people to forget what I said or what I did, like what they do in my favorite tv-show 'The Vampire Diaries'. I took my phone again and looked at Sam's twitter, first recent tweet saying ''hanging out with the boys again. I love them at least people that don't give up on me''. The other tweets were about how upset he was etc. Great so I gave up on him as well, just like what I did on my mom tonight. Today is bad day. Sam's words were going through my mind. ''Maybe you shouldn't listen to your brain but to your heart''. ''Listen to your heart''. Maybe I shouldn't have told him that I needed space.
~~ I'm sorry if this was a really poorly part, but my imagination right now somehow is gone. Maybe I'll write a new part this week :) ~~~
