Deep Down With Depression

Silent 1#

Writen: 23.08.2016

Warnings: Depressing, Suicaidial, Very Strong SelfHarm!

♢♢♢

*Pov of someone*

Fuck it, I gave up. I wasn't able to take it anymore. I stopped talking, I haven't said a word in 3 months.
And quess what? My parents don't give a fuck, they just shout at me and make everything worse.

Again, I were locked at basement, my room where there. Since it were 'Too luxury to have real room' to shit like me, so my parents put me to basement room. Well, I have all I need. Plus lock on door.

I went to lock door again, so no one comes in, while I'm crying. Me crying is only my business. I took my blade and smirked. I pulled up my sleeves and checked where I have room to do new cuts, it were hard to find some.

As I found small spot woth already healed scars, I started to make small cuts to it. Not very deep. Enough to get blood out.

After cutting, I put blade away and cleaned my arm. At least I take care of myself, in point it comes to my scars I mean. Not really of eating.

I fastly washed my long natural brown hair under sink and dryed it. Taking my clothes off, leaving only to underwear, I went to sleep.

I took my phone and plugged my headphones to eat, selecting my Hollywood Undead  playlist, and listening Swan Songs albums songs mostly.

In moments I fell asleep, music hitting my ears still.

*Next Morning*

"GOD DAMN ALEX! YOU BETTER WAKE UP RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" I woke up to my mom screaming and hitting the metal door. I threw random bottle from floor to the door, as to say 'Bitch I'm awake!'.

I got up and washed my make up off, dressing to usual black long sweater and black skinny jeans. I put my hair on messy bun and walked up to kitchen.

"You should thank your mom to waking you up." My dad said angrily. I made 'slitting' action to my throat with my hand and he looked away, muttering something about me being psychopath.

I took just sandwich and some yogurt, heading back to basement, to my room.

"YOU DON'T EAT DOWN THERE!" My mom walked after me, making chuckle to myself. I lovked the door in front of her face and went to eat on my bed. 'Don't eat down there.' Well if you just would accept your daughter being Pansexual...

I ate in silence, and then started to do my make up, aka smudged eyeliner and ready. I opened my bun, and brushed my hair, then teased it just a bit and put a bit of hairspary.

Packing my schoolbag, and putting shoes on I watched clock, 7.38am.
There is still hope to get in time to school.

I walked up and waved goodbyes and took my skateboard, heading to school fast.

I get in school yard, as on same time ad bell rang. Thanks Lucifer. I headed to my first glass, and hear someone whisper 'Silent is here on time.'

Yeah. I were late pretty much. And People called me Silent as I don't speak.

For this point nothing bad happenrd i scholl, but of course sitting next to 'famous' boys.

♢♢♢

In this moment I don't give a shit of smaller ammount of grammar, biggest things ofcourse.
I wanna say that I Am NOT the person in this story, just a random gurl I (and you) imagine.

-Alex J.S