Enlightened

Chapter 11: Internal Struggle POV: Charlie

I run away from the clearing where Kass lies as fast as I can, not allowing myself to feel remorse for what I have done. "She deserved it." The voices reassure me, but I tune them out, continuing to run. I sprint for as long as I can, pushing down and shutting out all of the emotions that are threatening to overtake me. "Just keep running, don't let yourself become vulnerable. You don't deserve the pleasure of letting yourself feel emotions." I tell myself, continuing my sprinting, making sure that my mind will not wander. I keep running for miles, desperate to keep myself occupied, not willing to face nor accept what I did to Kass. I mean, how could I accept what I did to someone who was my best friend? How could I just be able to live at peace with myself after basically murdering someone. "Stop it Charlie!" I internally yell at myself, knowing that recalling the past was not going to help. "Charlie, you cannot run from what you have done, but you can embrace it. Be proud of what you have done, daughter of Poseidon and Athena, and further your work." The demons in my head say. "N-no, I-I..." I trail off, not knowing how to respond. I then notice that I had stopped running while I was thinking and start my sprinting once again.

  I have now been running for over two hours but I try to keep going, not wanting to face my inner demons. I, however, underestimate my own stamina, and after about five more minutes, end up collapsing from exhaustion. Though I do not want to go to sleep, I need the rest and find myself falling into an uncomfortable slumber. Visions of me stabbing Kass flash through my mind, the fearful face of my best friend is what scares me most. "You already have killed a person, the first is always the hardest." the voices again invade my mind. I wake up screaming, soaked in sweat. I try getting up, but stop when I hear a voice from behind me.

"Where are you going?" it asks, and I turn around to see my father standing before me. "P-Percy?" I stutter in disbelief. "Close, I am merely only part of him, the part he disposed of because of you." He spits the last part out. "Why are you here?" I say warily. "Why am I here?" He mocks. "As much as I might not like that you turned Percy good, I see the darkness in you, and must I say you have lots of potential." He answers. "And?" I ask, impatiently. "And, it would be a shame if such potential was to go to waste." He explains. "I will never give into it!" I hiss. "Oh, but Charlie, you already have. Once you put that knife through your best friends heart, you gave yourself to the darkness, heck you welcomed it." "Just because I did one bad thing doesn't mean I'm now a bad person." I say, trying to convince myself more than him. "Why are you so insistent on remaining a good person? You realize that even if you don't do any other bad things, you will still be seen as a horrible, twisted person. You won't receive sympathy, forgiveness, or redemption, not that you deserve it anyways. If you are unable to go back to being the person you were before, why try? Why not embrace what you have done, build off of your father's work, make a name for yourself." He suggests. "Just how exactly would I "make a name for myself"?" I ask him. "Kill the Olympians." he says as casually as if he was telling me the weather forecast for the day. "The Olympians can't be killed, and both you and I know it." I growl. "You are correct that the Olympians can't be killed by normal beings, but you are not so normal are you Charlie? You are a powerful demigod hybrid, and therefore you do have the power to kill them." He informs me. "I-I won't do it!" I shout back. "Gods Charlie, why not, what do you have to lose?" He questions. "You've lost your best friend, your home, your family, and your humanity." His words feel like a slap to the face. "Even if I went through with this, which I won't, if I get caught I would be killed for sure." I respond after I get over my shock at his words. "True, but again, what have you got to lose, besides Charlie, death at the moment, would be a huge favor for you, because we both know that you can't live with yourself anymore." He retorts right before he leaves.

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AN: I had such a hard time writing this chapter since 1.) it contained a heck lot of dialogue and, 2.) me, being the idiot that I am, was listening to really upbeat songs while trying to write very dark chapter so.