Sophie's Diary

Entry 13

Next chapter!!!

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Dear Diary,

It has been another week. I swear, this pregnancy thing is becoming easier to stand. I don't have a belly yet, but when I do, it will be a piece of cake.

Dr. Doone said the baby is wonderful. Also, to call him Alex. He and Jane, his wife, are very generous to Jack and I.

Jack is getting excited even though we are only one month, two weeks along. He says he is scared too though.

Scared of being evil. Scared of not being able to care for it. Scared of being horrible and not their to support it. He is scared of being a younger version of his father, who wasn't there for him, treated him well when he was a baby until toddler years, not supporting the child of he or she needed.

I told him he's over reacting. Wrong move there.

He told me that it was different. It was his child. He was biological father. I don't see how it is though. I mean. Half these kids I have are biologically mine. He said I wouldn't understand, that's what made me snap and lash out at him.

I do. I understand him better than anyone and I understand his situation better than anyone. Ike isn't my kid biologically, he knows now but calls me mommy still. Annie doesn't know and she won't ever. Yet I am the mother. The one who cares for them. Protects them. Loves them. Jack said he was sorry after he cooled down. I knew he was and I told him his apology was unneeded. Of course, he brushed it off and said it was.

But now, we all are good. Our house is fixed up, addressed, and painted. The children even have a playroom for their toys in the basement! We have couches, love seats, chairs, tables, lamps, beds, cribs, and everything we would need.

In our backyard, the kids even have a play set; equipped with monkey bars, 3 swings, a mini tunnel, 2 slides, a mini sandbox and two look out towers. One for the boys and one for the girls.

Marco has been a remarkably huge help.

Yesterday, Jack and I left to go to our weekly appointment for the baby. Now, I know what your thinking, "weekly?"

But yes, weekly. Jack and I want our child to be protected. After all, this is our first baby together.

Jack is already thinking of names too. So far if the baby is a boy he likes; George, Mario, Kale, Allan, Clark, Tallin, Jacob, and Nolan.

But if it's a little baby girl he likes;

Angelica, Bria, Claire, Diana, Elise, Felicity, Georgia, Hallie, Isabelle, Jamie, Kaitlyn, Lola, Melanie, Natalie, Ollie, Paisley, Quinn, Remy, Sam, Talia, Una, Vivian or Viviana, Wendy, Xadriana, Yakira, Zolee.

Yes, he really wants a little girl. Worst part is, that's what we've narrowed it down to. I like Viviana or Vivian, I just don't know though!!! Ugh. Too many choices. He is really thinking ahead though. I never thought about it until I had my baby. But you know, I think I like this way better. I will have my child's name ready, with my fiancé. I can't wait. It's going to be magical, I know it!! Someone who cares about me will be there for me and Marco already told us he'd watch the kids and bring them once their sibling had arrived out of "Mummy's tummy."

As far as they know, I ate her. You have to love their little ways of thinking. But, it's okay. They deserve to think that way after what they have went through, even if they don't know it.

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Was it good? Bad? Kinda sort, I know. I just really wanted to update for you all!!

Only a few things to comment about:

1. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! :) what do you celebrate this time of the season? Let me know and comment! :)

2. I will not be updating over the holidays, I will be looking over some notes for exams :( and of course celebrating!!!!! But if I'm in a chipper mood and have time on my hands, I will update a most likely short chapter... Maybe a bonus one on New Years? ;) I'll have to see. Let me know!

3. Not edited as usual.

4. Sorry for not updating quickly. :/

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If you have read this far, I APPLAUD YOU! If not...well,...no applause for you.

Jessie :)