FIXING YOU

N I N E T E E N

• Noah's POV •

"Let's-" wavin' my hand, I said, "let's not do this."

I hadn't come here to bicker with Elle. I wanted us to make up and at least try goin' back to normal but somehow it's become an disagreement. It's as if she's tryin' to prove something- what though? How is tellin' me that I don't know how to love someone like Justin making any of this better? Honestly, that's when I lost all my chill. She can not come at me some type of way and expect me to bow down and take it.

She hurt my feelings, now I've hurt hers- the both of us have lost.

I turned on my heel, takin' a deep breath. I'll go because it's obvious she doesn't want me here.

"He used me, and you don't even care."

Once again, she's put the blame on me. "It isn't my fault!" I stressed with my head buried in my hands. "I can't fix this- I can't make him love you." I looked her straight in the face and apologized from the bottom of my heart. I see the bags underneath her eyes, noticed her hair isn't even brushed and she looks much thinner than before like she hasn't been takin' care of herself. I understand she's overwhelmed with being blamed for murdering Cole, loosin' her home and Justin- who she apparently knows and loves so much, I try not rollin' my eyes as the thought passes, but she has to pick herself up and move on and I'm willing to do that with her.

She lowers her head, her lips between her teeth as she picks at the piece of paper in her hands. "Do you really think he's gone for good?" She mumbled.

I nodded, although I wasn't positive. I haven't seen him since that day at the hospital but he's texted me everyday. I just don't respond, because I know that it's best if he stays away. It's honestly hard as fuck to ignore him. I wake up with a good mornin' text from his unsaved number, I'll read it and go back to bed until my phone vibrates again- another text from him.
Elle spoke again, "but if he came back- would you ever be with him again?" She was on the verge of tears, I could see them formin' in her eyes and it made me bite down on my tongue.

She's totally, heartbroken.

"I want you to be happy, Noah." She sat down on the bed, "I want him to be happy- more than anything." I watched her lips form the briefest smile ever. "So.. Don't let me stand in your way."

"Elle," I sadly sighed. "It wouldn't be right-"

"Just be careful, okay?"

I sat down beside her, placin' my car keys and phone in my lap. "What do you mean?" I thought about the dream I had back in London- when Cole warned me to be careful also. I've pondered on the dream for days now, assuming he was warnin' me about Justin and Elle like, tellin' me not to fall for Justin because what he'd done.

"Like I said," she sighed. "You don't know him."

Justin can steal your breath away with one kiss- leavin' your lips almost blue. He can give you an orgasm that hits you as if it were three all at once. He's got a smile that only heaven could make and when I'm with him, nothing else matters. It was just him and I, together in some paradise.

We never needed conversation to bond which I've realized is quite ridiculous, but it's true.

He had my eyes rollin' back; had me archin' my back.

Guilt consumes me when I look at Elle because I should not want him after what he's done, I know that and it'd be easier not to think about him if I didn't have twenty five unopened text messages from him or the reminder of him pounding me every time I close my eyes and lay down in bed. It's driven me crazy, how badly I want him, again- it makes me sick but I'll fight myself 'till I see him again, but that may never happen.