Don't you remember?

August 24th five years past: Dying Stars

The sky had been a sickly gray color for the past ten days. A strange coldness was creeping in. This wasn't any normal cold; it seeped through everything. Through walls, through bone, through blood.
"Lyra, would you like to go see Ashland after his treatment session today?"Asked my mother resting a hand on my shoulder. I would wait at the window every morning until noon when my mother would allow me to go see Ashland. Every day he was getting weaker. His light was beginning to go out. My beat up sneakers would squeak on the white tiles of the hospital floor in an unsettling tempo until I reached the entirely white room where he would be sitting up in his bed still hooked up to machines. His skin was a terrifying shade of hazy grey and the purple under his eyes made him resemble a corpse from an old zombie movie. I had once spent hours staring into the swirling void of emerald eyes, but it was getting harder to stare into his once beautiful eyes. It was like staring into an endless void, but that void no longer led to a world of wonder and light. Sometimes we'd just sit there. Staring. Other times we would try to laugh and joke and maybe even play cards. The others would come in and sit with us. We'd try to keep everything light, but the beeping of the machinery was always there. Underlying everything. A constant remind that nothing would ever be the same. Ashland sometimes would wear his fathers old private school sweatshirt with the crest of the school printed on it. He has always wanted to go to the school. He longed for adventures beyond our little town, and I didn't blame him. I wanted out just as badly.
"Ya know, you should apply."He said abruptly during our card game. I saw tears in his eyes."I mean, if I can't go, I'd want you to tell me the stories someday. How much trouble you get into and how you miss our dumb little town, but never want to come back."  Our eyes met and a wave of guilt hit me like a bullet. He didn't think he would get to go.
"You'll totally get in!" I quipped trying to push back the growing tension. He grabbed my hand; it was so cold.
"Lyra, the chances of me walking out of here is less than ten percent. You're the one person I don't want sugar coating the reality of this."His voice was dead serious. Our eyes met and in that moment, I swear I could fall through the void in his gaze. "There are several colonies of tumors in my lungs. They know it's spreading, and it's spreading faster than they had ever thought. Soon it will infect my entire body, and ultimately kill me."

"Ashland. . ."I was just barely able to choke out. My world was crashing down. Crumbling. The castle walls were giving way. The tides were rising. My empire was collapsing into oblivion. And I? I couldn't do a god damned thing.

I felt a hollow awful feeling deep within my chest. A feeling that would never go away.

"Lyra,"Said Ashland squeezing my hand. For just a moment, the light was back. That luminous gorgeous unknown light just in the back of his gaze was back. "I've been sick since the day we met, and I knew that it would hurt you to even know my name, but I don't regret it. I will never regret knowing you. You are the queen of our world."

"But, Ash, you're the king. We can't survive without you. Our world can't survive without you!"I felt endless waves of anger and sadness and panic hit me over and over. My breathing became heavy and I felt as if I was falling to my demise.

"It can. Please, Lyra, I know that all of you will never fall apart. Even if I'm not there."He was so calm. So disturbingly calm.

"You can't leave! You can't! Ashland! You can't!"I was full on screaming now. I couldn't stand the thought of my world being torn from me."How can you be so calm?!"

"I've known for so long. I was angry, but now, I can't be. I can't help what is happening. I wish I could, but someday, I won't be here. I have come to accept that, and I've asked to be taken off of the medications and treatments. Every King's reign must end, you know that."
"I..."I could barely find my voice. This couldn't be happening. We were supposed to go to high school together and college and be together our entire lives. We would be eighty sitting on a porch laughing about our adventures and our successes. That couldn't not happen. That's not how this was supposed to play out. He was silent. Just staring endlessly at me. He looked like glass. Like if I reached out and touched him, he could shatter beneath my touch. But I knew he wasn't glass. No. he was crystal. It would take a lot more than a single touch to shatter him.
"Lyra, you know, your mind, it's beautiful."he smiled sadly looking at me. "The way your eyes glitter and the way your thoughts are like endless strands of genius, it's absolutely riveting."
"Ashland, I'm just me. There's nothing riveting about that. I'm normal."
"Normal? You're the queen! You're my queen! You are a genius with a million stars in your eyes! If you're normal, I fear for the ones who are considered special." He exclaimed with more energy than I had seen in weeks. "Never forget that. For me. Please." I had no response. I just stared into those eyes. Those eyes where an entire universe swirled and danced in emerald.