Scars Don't Heal When You Keep Cutting ♡ brusnop

Chapter Thirty Three

My mom gave us Ben's phone back after she dealt with DJ's mom before she went somewhere with my dad, letting us know that they wouldn't be back until late. We decided we'd look for his journal, or diary, or whatever he calls it, while they were gone, since they're not here to walk in on us searching through their stuff in their room.

But we can't find it anywhere.

"I'm fucked," Ben groans as he throws himself down on my parents' bed. I sigh as I put away the last of the books and sit down next to Ben on the bed.

"We'll find it soon, it's gotta be here somewhere," I mutter softly to him, moving to rub a comforting hand on his back.

"What if they read it before we can get to it, Danny?" he cries as he sits up. "I wrote some stuff that I don't want them finding out in it! I mean, we don't know how they'd react to it!"

"I don't know, what kind of stuff did you put in it?"

"You know, how my day went, about my past, what I thought would happen in the future, my feelings. You know, that night I met you-- I wrote a lot about you."

"You did?" I ask dumbly, a smile forcing itself onto my face.

"Yeah. I had this huge crush on you," he blushes as he scoots closer to me. I pull him closer to me until he's pressed into my side, head leaning onto my shoulder. "It's kinda funny, because it kinda made me hate you a tiny bit, heh."

Rip to the smile on my face.

"You did?" I ask rather dejectedly.

"Yeah, because I didn't wanna fall in love again just to end up getting my heart broken, you know? But you're amazing, Danny," he confesses. "I love you."

And just like Lazarus or whoever, my smile rises from the dead.

"You're perfect, ass cheek. And I love you too," I tell him before kissing his forehead and pulling him closer to me.

"You're still calling me ass cheek?? I thought I was your Benji," Ben laughs.

"What, I can't have more than one nickname for my beb?" I laugh along, glancing at the clock on my parent's night stand.

It's getting a little late already. I still gotta walk you to Cam's," I say, and he hums in disappointment.

"We still haven't found my book," Ben brings up. I promise him that I'll try to look for it more after I get back. He goes to grab his stuff from my room before we head downstairs.

"You didn't eat yet today. Wanna eat something before we leave, Benji?," I ask him, looking to him expectantly.

"Do I have a choice?" he asks sarcastically.

"You do, I can't force you to do anything," I tell him. "But I really think you should eat. I can make you half of a sandwich, at least?"

He agrees reluctantly, and I guide him into the kitchen, where he sits at the table while I get everything out to make a sandwich. When I finish making it, I use the knife I dressed the sandwich with to cut it in half.

"Just so you know," I start, handing one half to Ben and keeping the other for myself. "I make sandwiches so good that they make you wanna slap your mama and call her a bitch."

Ben giggles a little at that before hesitantly nibbling at his sandwich.

"So, how is it?" I ask, biting into my own.

"It's okay."

"Rip at me," I joke, feigning offence, making Ben laugh again.

"I'm kidding, it's one of the best sandwiches I've ever had," Ben says.

"Yeah, so you wanna eat on the way? It's getting dark out," I suggest, and he nods in agreement.