Ben and I talked about the teachers at our school as we walked to Cam's house, hand in hand, appreciating the ones we liked and criticizing the ones we didn't. Ben eventually brought up Mrs. Brown and how much the old woman's titties sagged, which had me cackling out into the night.
"Nah, nah, that's foul!" I say in between laughs.
"You know you've never seen anyone with titties that sagged the way hers do," Ben laughs defensively.
"You're such an asshole, I love it!" I say as we get to Cam's door. I ring the doorbell before speaking again. "But you're right, she has the saggiest titties I've ever seen."
"What's this about saggy tits?" Cam asks as he opens the door almost immediately.
"We were just talking about how bad Mrs. Brown's titties sag," Ben fills him in, and Cam's face scrunches up in disgust.
"Ew, now all I can see are her boobs. And I don't even think she wears a bra, I can see her nipples through her shirt sometimes," Cam says, shaking his head with a sigh.
"Oh my gosh, I know!! How does she get away with that??" I laugh, and Ben looks confused.
"Am I the only one who hasn't seen her pointy nipples? I only remember the sagginess," Ben says awkwardly.
"How have you never noticed?" Cam asks Ben incredulously, who only shrugs sheepishly in reply.
"Maybe her titties sag so much he can't even notice the nips!" I defend my smol boyfriend, causing us all to laugh again.
"What's all this about titties and how they sag?" Ariel asks as she suddenly appears behind Cam at the door.
"Mrs. Brown's titties are the saggiest sags I've ever seen!" I say. Ariel starts guffawing uncontrollably, doubling over and holding her stomach, and I honestly don't think it's quite that funny... but this is Ariel. Her laughing gets so bad that she has to walk away for a moment to cool down, walking back to the three of us when she recovers.
"Those sacks of p-" she couldn't even finish her sentence without bursting with laughter again, causing us to raise an eyebrow at her. She collapses from laughing so fucking much, and we just stare down at her as if she's a rare breed of species.
"Those sacks- of- powder-!" she strains and laughs even harder, holding her stomach again as tears start to fucking stream down her face. She rolls over and gets on her hands and knees and starts to crawl away, not being able to get back up from laughing so hard.
"I can't believe I'm dating that monstrosity," Cam sighs jokingly.
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Scars Don't Heal When You Keep Cutting ♡ brusnop
Fanfictiontitle from Asking Alexandria's "I Was Once, Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps A Cowboy King"