Keep the Change, You Filthy Animal

Chapter 12

Alex.

-

My dream flew away in a flash as I opened my eyes. I felt it leave my mind and struggled to catch it, but it was gone before I could remember what it was about.

One second of blankness.

Two seconds of blankness.

And then I remembered who I was and where I was and what I was doing. I was at Rian’s, sleeping in his guest bed with…

Oh lord of lords. There was no fucking way this had actually happened. Me and Jack? Acting like… like… No, no, no, there was a glitch in my memory. For sure. I was making stuff up.

Then again, I WAS halfway lying on him, my head on his shoulder, my hand on his chest. His own hand lay limply next to mine, as if…

My pulse sped up so fast I felt like I was having an attack, but it wasn’t painful, and not even a bit scary. It was… overwhelming – in a good way. I remembered my dream now. It wasn’t really a dream, just a reminiscence of what had happened last night. Jack announcing his breakup with Tracey, us playing music together, Jack admitting he knew about my feelings, but showing me that somehow – miraculously, incredibly, unbelievably – he felt the same. I think.

And now… now what?

“Jack?” I whispered, as if I was afraid to wake him – wow Alex, good job, that’s the point, stupid. “Jack,” I said again, this time a bit louder. Still no answer. “Jack, wake up!”

Finally, he frowned and opened his eyes. For a second he stared at me blankly, and suddenly he jerked away in shock, pushing me off him. The look he gave me hurt more than if he’d slapped me across the face with a hammer.

I felt like all my dreams were falling apart, all that hope that filled me a second earlier was slipping away. And then his eyes softened and a look of comprehension dawned on his face. “Alex,” he said through a light, slightly hysterical laugh. I breathed a sigh of relief and soon caught myself laughing with him, until we were both crying with laughter into our pillows.

“I’m sorry,” Jack said then, sitting up. “I’m just not used to…” He gestured at his surroundings, seeming at a loss for words. “…all this. You, me. The fact that we’re both…”

“Dudes?” I completed with the utmost seriousness. He nodded sadly. I scoffed. “Who cares? It doesn’t matter to you, does it?” I hadn’t intended to sound so worried, but I hadn’t quite recovered from the way he’d reacted earlier.

He hesitated. “Nah, I don’t give a shit,” he finally answered. “I doubt we’re gonna have kids though.”

I laughed, feeling lightheaded. “Look on the bright side! No need to worry about birth control!”

“Alright, but if we’re adopting, I want an Ethiopian.” He wagged a warning finger at me. “And we’re calling him Djumbo. With the silent D.”

“Kind of like D-Jack?”

“Exactly. Don’t forget the D!” He winked meaningfully, making me laugh again.

A distant voice came from behind the door then, and we fell silent. “Having fun, girls!? Did you paint your nails last night!?” it said.

“Ha, ha! Good one, Rian!” I replied bitterly. Oh, Ri, if only you’d known what we ACTUALLY did last night.

“We better get ready,” Jack said. I nodded in agreement. “By the way, Lex…” He edged closer to me and before I could blink, he placed a quick kiss on my lips. Flashing a smile, he jumped off the bed, picked up his clothes – the same he’s worn yesterday – and was out of the room in no time, leaving me there.