(Jungkook POV)
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Double knotting my shoelaces so I wouldn't have to be stared at if they came undone.
Long sleeves in the warm autumn so I wouldn't have to see my arms that were never skinny enough.
Neutral shirts and pants so I wouldn't stand out in the crowd and could easily blend in.
My legs were bouncing up and down, fingers drumming on the desk as I waited for the clock to hit 3 PM, home time.
I felt a kick to my chair and heard the male mutter, "so fucking annoying." I refused to turn around and apologise looking straight at him. It wasn't because I didn't want to, it was more due to the reason that I couldn't.
So I quietly whispered an apology without turning around and huddled my arms together, trying to become smaller and smaller in that ring of a junior classroom.
I'd already done the work assigned to us in class and saw the other classmates roll their eyes and nudge their friends, "what a showoff", "probably did it all wrong, anyways."
My phone vibrated and I unlocked it to see that heavenly notification; chimchim_ has updated his story!
Oh yes, the reason why I was so excited for this to end and quickly leave. I didn't read this author's stories in class because I needed something to do when I would be on the transit bus, a reason for me to not sweat and feel the protruding eyes of others and wondered all the bad things they all thought of me, a reason for me not to sink lower into my seat if someone laughed behind me because I knew they were laughing at me.
The bell rang and I quickly gathered my stuff, hoping that someone wouldn't knock my books down today. I waited until the rest of the students had left the class, making sure the coast was clear and they wouldn't follow me out.
I sling the backpack over my shoulder, holding onto the strap so it wouldn't bounce up and down, as I speed walked to the school's exit. I kept my head down, staring at the few threads around my converse and counting the steps I took. It would take approximately thirty six steps for me to reach if I walked quickly enough.
Twelve, I felt the sun's heat being absorbed by my dark grey sweater, leaving my forehead sweating. It's not that I hated the heat, I loved it. But having to experience it in the full sleeves of my sweater left me longing for autumn.
Twenty one, I caught sight of the bus pulling up and opened up my wallet for my bus card. I quickly walked with my head down and my dark bangs near my eyes. I didn't realise I'd bumped into someone and was shoved away. I felt myself stumble and trip, seeing the clatters of coins and receipts fall out of my wallet.
I mumbled an apology and hung my head, fingers scarping along the hot pavement as I tried to gather up my belongings. I swear the group of laughter was directed at me and I blinked away the tears.
Twenty nine, thank God my shoelaces never came undone and I saw the cluster of students filing in front of the bus. I hated taking the transit bus. You were pressed up against strangers, close enough to hear their music or the disgusting gossip. But my mom left early for work and I didn't want to trouble her.
Thirty four, I think I would be able to catch a seat by the window today. I did a mental check of where my earphones were. I didn't want to rummage around my backpack and accidentally drop something and catch the attention of him.
Thirty six, I reached the bus and entered it, scanning my bus card. I turned around and locked eyes with an orange haired boy and quickly looked away. Looking at someone and feeling as if my heart would burst wasn't new, it happened to me whether it was with teachers, students or random strangers.
But that orange haired boy, him, gave an entirely different kind of effect on my heart.
There was no way he'd feel that. I knew he never could, the way his piercing yet calming eyes nodded at his friends, the way his orange locks would flutter slightly from the open window, the way girls giggled to each other and whispered, "Jimin."
Park Jimin, the senior student that went to my school.
I heard his laughter as I took five seats behind him near the window. It sounded so melodious and beautiful. He was such a carefree and lighthearted person and wasn't rude one bit to others. I'd seen him give up his seat to older people or disabled people and smile at them.
I'd never seen him around the hallways at schools though, perhaps because I barely looked up as I walked through them. But I was glad, I didn't want him to see such an ugly person like me and be disgusted.
And even though we'd lock eyes each time I'd get on the bus and even though I looked away and walked past him with quivering hands, smelling his cologne, I'd never missed that beautiful smile that would soon follow on his lips after.
One day, I told myself. One day, I'd hold our gaze and right after he'll smile at me,
I'll smile too.
So I put in my earphones, yet never listening to music because I didn't want to miss hearing his sweet voice and laughter, and because I didn't want anyone to witness me struggling to speak if they asked me something, figuring I'd better off act as if I couldn't be disturbed.
And I unlocked my phone, clicking on the app and pulling up the latest story of chimchim_, wondering if perhaps this author looked as beautiful as his words.
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