This is an AU in between episodes 2x01 and 2x02. Spencer feels guilty over The Jenna Thing (still), and she asks Toby about it. This leads to other conversations.
Spencer and Toby sat in her room. Toby sat on her bed, and Spencer rested her head on his lap. Toby played with a piece of hair. They were both in deep thought. Neither were speaking to each other, but the silence was comfortable.
Spencer was stuck thinking about the past. She wondered what might had happened if she took responsibility for the fire, or she went in and helped Jenna. Would she still be blinded? Would Toby have been sent to the reform school in Maine? What if she had stood up to Alison and told her no. Her mind was circulating with different ideas and stories. They haunted her at night since the night of the fire. Those were her biggest 'what if's'.
"What are you thinking about in that pretty head of yours?" Toby asked, noticing how her forehead was creased. He knew she only did that when she was in deep thought. He thought the expression was cute, but sometimes he watched her, not in the creepy way, do school work. It made him know her expressions. "You have a crease right here," he tapped her forehead, "and you only do that when you are thinking."
Spencer didn't want to admit something that happened the year before, but the event still stayed in her mind. She was scared to tell him why she was in such deep thought. She knew Toby would either talk her out of her doubt or feel guilty himself. She chewed her lip, wondering if she should even speak.
"Spence," he asked, "What's bothering you? Something obviously is."
"Why did you help me?" she asked. "You could have shut the door in my face. I would have."
"What's this about?"
Spencer sat up, pulling her knees to her chest. "I ruined your life. You're going to have to put up with the fire claims as long as you stay in Rosewood," she muttered. Toby sighed, taking her hand. "I wouldn't trust me if I were you. How can you just . . . treat me like I did nothing."
"Okay, first off, that actually helped me because I was able to get away from Jenna. If that hadn't happened, who knows where we would be. Second off, I don't blame you for the accident. Alison was the one who put the firecracker in there, and she was the one who had the idea."
"I gave her the lighter though," Spencer replied back, still feeling guilty. She couldn't make eye contact. "And Jenna is blind because of my friends, and it's not fair to her. Even if karma was getting back at her for how she treated you."
"I know," he said, tracing circles on her hands. "I know, but sometimes you have to remember it was the past."
"My dad won't let me date you because of that past, but it was me."
Toby sighed. He was aware the fire was one of the main reasons Mr. Hastings, Peter, didn't approve of the relationship. He cared more about the Hastings' image than his daughter's happiness. Toby knew it tore Spencer up inside knowing she didn't have parental approval, but she didn't abandon Toby. Toby was grateful for those actions, but it also made him feel bad.
"Spencer, I am fine with getting the blame put on me. It's been a year, and I've accepted that I did what I had to do," Toby told her, nuzzling his nose against her cheek. "I wouldn't take it back for a second. Eight months ago, maybe. I was bitter. But now that I know you and Emily more, I can't wish you guys got caught."
Spencer listened to him talk, and she couldn't shake the feeling off, though. Maybe a reason was because she hadn't made amends with Jenna, not that she wanted to speak to the blinded girl. She wanted things to be right for Toby, but things were always wrong. She already knew she loved him, but she hadn't grown the nerve to say it aloud.
"And I know if you had taken the blame, you wouldn't be here. Your parents would have either covered it up, or they would kick you out. They try so hard to keep their image," Toby sighed. He brought Spencer's knuckles to his lips, kissing them lightly. "And it's horrible for them to do that. Don't beat yourself up over something Alison peer pressured you to do. We both know if you backed out or stepped up, Alison would have reacted, horribly."
"Oh, she did. Every time I brought it up," Spencer said, nodding her head. "My parents would believe me for starting the fire, but they won't believe me when I say Ian tried to kill me."
"I'm glad he didn't. I was so scared, and I wanted to see you. But your dad shut the door in my face."
"I got mad at him for doing that." she sighed. "But speaking of doors in the face, why didn't you slam your door in my face when I came to tutor you?"
Toby sat in silence for a while, trying to put the right answer together. "I was interested why you were at my doorsteps, and I'm glad I did," he said. "Plus, you were probably the only person who somewhat stood up to Alison, so that made you pretty cool."
"Those were the only reasons?" she asked. She wasn't expecting a long answer, but she wondered what went through his mind when he saw her. "I was, like, scared to go up there. I didn't know if I would get a broken nose or Jenna would answer the door. She would do that creepy thing by calling my name based off my perfume since her other senses adapted."
Toby chuckled, quietly. "Yeah, but I still was an ass to you at first."
"I had accused you of killing Alison and . . ." Spencer realized she almost slipped about A. She quietly saved herself by coming up with something else to say, but Toby cut her off before she found her second comment.
"And?" he asked confused. He knew she thought he killed Alison, the entire town did. Was she talking about the perverted lies Alison told?
"Trying to hurt Emily," Spencer said, chewing her lip. She hated lying to him, but he wasn't allowed to know about A. She didn't want him getting hurt. "It was more we were scared and didn't want Emily to be too injured."
Toby nodded, sighing. He hated that she saw him for that person. He knew the main reason was because Alison polluted their minds with lies. That didn't erase the hurt, though. Spencer noticed his change in mood, and she leaned in and pecked his lips.
"But I was wrong. You're the sweetest and kindest person I know. We were wrong about you, and I regret it so much," she said. "You make me happy, and you give me a place to go to," she rested her forehead against his. He looked at her, not saying anything. "You believed in me when no one else did."
Toby smiled slightly. Spencer had a thing with words. They always found a way to make him feel better. "God, Spence, you always know what to say," he said, brushing his nose against her cheek.
Spencer laid back down, pulling Toby with her. Toby chuckled, laying down next to her. They faced each other, just looking at each other.
"Oh, and you should know, I had already decided to forgive you that first day you came over, and I realized I had feelings for you that day we drove out to the Rosewood sign," Toby whispered to her. "We were heading back, and I kept sneaking glances at you."
"I know, I noticed."
Toby's cheeks tinted light pink, embarrassed he had gotten caught. "What about you? When did you wake up and realize," he teased.
"I mean, even before the fire, I thought you were cute," Spencer shrugged, "I never told Ali though. But I realized I had some feelings for you after the first session. I was like talking to Emily about it while doing her homework," she laughed.
Toby smiled, "You make me happy."
"You make me happy too," Spencer grinned, pecking his lips.
YOU ARE READING
Spoby One Shots
ФанфикDifferent stories on Spencer and Toby's relationship. I take requests. Comment in the comments or message me if you want an one shot requested. Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars or the original characters. Number 37 on #Spoby