Spoby One Shots

Scars

Warning: This chapter discusses topics of self harm and insecurities. If you are triggered by these conversations, please skip this chapter. I will leave a few spaces in between so you can have time to leave the piece.

When Wren was revealed as A.D., Spencer skipped town. She lost everyone's number and address. There was only one person she brought with her: Toby. They weren't together at the time, but she still loved him and couldn't lose him again. He was still grieving over Yvonne's death, and Spencer helped him accept she was gone and move on. She didn't expect it to be her.

Toby had kissed her one night. It was about a year after Yvonne had died, and Toby was tired of dancing around his feelings for Spencer. He had been doing that even before the car crash. Spencer was hesitant to start another relationship. She feared Toby would cheat on her like Caleb, or he would lose interest like Marco. She was wrapped in her own insecurities that she couldn't see that Toby wouldn't break her heart.

They started their relationship, and six months into the love affair, Toby was promoted to head detective. When Spencer asked, begged, Toby to come with her, he agreed. The last time he disagreed, Spencer and him ended up growing apart. He got a job to the new location, and he worked just as hard as he did in Rosewood. They were both happy. Spencer had gotten a job with the state's senate.

However, there were downsides to leaving everything behind. The memories that neither of them could forget. Spencer had woken up screaming several times have night terrors about the time she was shot, and the time that Wren had nearly killed her again. She had night terrors were Wren killed Toby, making her watch. Sometimes she even dreamed about Noel's death. Even if he was working with A, no one should have been killed like he was. She had panic attacks by tiny triggers.

Spencer couldn't look at a gun. Toby made sure that his gun was locked in the safe before confronting Spencer. She trusted Toby, but she was still scared of the gun. Toby hadn't seen her scar from the bullet wound. She refused to show him it, and that meant she was too worried to have sex. They had been dating six months. They did some activities, but she never fully revealed herself to him. Toby hadn't realized the reasoning yet, but Spencer knew he would find out soon.

Spencer had been getting ready for a dinner with Toby when her insecurities took over. The dress she wore wasn't revealing, but Spencer could see the scar. The the naked eye, no one could see it. But Spencer could, so Spencer needed it to be covered. She had tried a jacket, but the jackets she had were either too small, too warm, or too unflattering. Spencer stared at herself in the mirror for an hour. This started for her to point out every imperfection. By this time, Spencer was out of her dress and staring at herself in just her undergarments.

"Spence, we have to leave in . . ." Toby stopped talking when he saw Spencer staring at herself in the mirror. She was looking at every angle. The look in her eye was distant, and Toby hated the look she held. She looked so broken and insecure. Toby slowly walked over to Spencer, and he was seen in the mirror. Spencer jumped, turning to him.

"Toby!" she said, surprised. She soon realized her attire, and her heart dropped. She felt her throat close up a bit as she realized Toby was able to see everything. The bullet scar, the scar from when A.D. had cut her on the hip, the scar from the tree that stabbed her in the back when she faced Mona, and the little scars from after their last break up.

"Spence," he whispered. Spencer said nothing, and she tried to hide herself from Toby from seeing her. Toby surprised her when he brought her into an embrace, holding her so close. Spencer felt tears fill her eyes as Toby rubbed her bare back.

She hated the scars she had. There were ones from her addict days. She didn't even remember them at times. There were ones that were inflicted by herself. She used that method after Toby and her broke up, and she wasn't able to control herself when she had panic or anxiety attacks. There were the ones from A during her time in the dollhouse, and there was the bullet wound. Before, they weren't noticeable, or people didn't notice them. Caleb didn't the times they had sex, and Marco never got close enough to find them.