Spoby One Shots

Time to Say Goodbye

Prompt: Spencer watched her friends and family gather in a church as they mourning her death. Toby took everything the hardest, and he was stuck in the stage of depression. Spencer, unable to move on, began to help Toby move on and let him know that everything would be okay.

This is actually something I began writing after my late grandfather. I had been expecting his death, however, I didn't know how to react to it. I wasn't sad and I wasn't lonely. I just felt nothing, which is common after I did some research. But I wrote this began I was able to get some unknown feeling out that I didn't know I had.

Warnings: Language, Depression

Disclaimer: I am in no way trying to romanticize death or depression. I also ended this how I always prefer movies/tv shows/books to end when they are dealing with mental health. This isn't a happy fic, so if you want to skip it, I understand. I hope you enjoy this though, more of my fics are going to be longer (ranging from 2,500 to 5,000 words).

Spencer remembered standing in front of her friends, protecting them from Jenna. She remembered the girls running towards the stairs while she stayed behind. Spencer remembered hearing a gunshot, and then she remembered feeling a sharp pain.

After that, she remembers nothing.

She doesn't remember Mary Drake pressing her wound, and she doesn't remember her friends crowding around her. The trip to the hospital never existed to her, and she doesn't remember the doctors asking her questions. She doesn't remember the surgery. She doesn't remember flatlining.

So when Spencer died, she wasn't sure what happened. Spencer didn't even realize that she was dead.

Spencer then was staring at her own body, in a casket, and she was surrounded by people dressed in black. Attending her own funeral, Spencer stared at her friends.

"We gather here today to mourn the loss of Spencer Jill Hastings," the preacherman said. "She was loved by many, and she would never be forgotten."

Spencer looked at the people around her. Aria was sitting next to Ezra, and she was holding a tissue in her hand. Ezra's hand held Aria's. Spencer never was fond of Ezra. At first, she thought he was fine, but after she thought he was A. Emily and Allison were next to each other. Emily's cheeks were stained with tear streaks, and Allison looked at the photo of Spencer, with little emotions. Caleb looked at Hanna, who was looking in her lap. Spencer's focus then fell on Toby. Her heart broke at the sight of him.

He looked exhausted. His hair was a bit messier than usual, and he was staring at the casket in front of him. Toby fiddled with his hands. His eyes were red and rimmed with tears. A quiet whimper slipped from Toby's lips. Veronica's hand was on Toby's shoulder. Spencer was thankful for her mother. Toby's mother wouldn't be there to comfort him during this, and Toby's father was as dead to him as his mother.

Spencer's focus stayed on Toby. She walked over to him, and she stood in front of him. "I'm here," she said. "I'm here." But the question still stood: why was she still here? Why hadn't she moved on, and why was she feeling as if there was something missing.

"She's gone," Toby whispered to Veronica. Veronica rubbed his back, comforting him. "She's gone."

"She's not gone, she is here," Veronica told him. "But you just can't see her."

Spencer sighed. She wanted to show Toby that she was here and she would stay. But she knew she would eventually move on. Spencer looked at her hand, and the engagement ring shined. She was surprised that it was there. Then again, it does mean the world to her.

"Why? Why did she have to die?" Toby whispered.

"I don't know," Spencer replied. "I don't know why I had to die."