No Time for Love

Chapter 1: Alexia

I'm telling you now, nothing really goes on in this chapter but it introduces the character

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I wish I could believe you
Then I'll be alright
But now everything you told me
Really don't apply
To the way I feel inside
Loving you was easy once upon a time
But now my suspicions of you have multiplied
And it's all because you lied

  ~Beyonce x Resentment

 I needed answers. I didn't want to go back. I didn't think I could bear seeing him again but my curiosity was getting the best of me. My mind was not processing any of this shit. It was too good to be true, but it was too hard to let go. Going back would make letting go harder.

Hopping out my car, I stare up at the house. A house that held so many memories. Memories that couldn't be replaced. Memories that make me smile. Memories that make me cry. Memories that were a lie.

Balling my hand up, I knock on the grand cherry wood doors. I did have a key but this is no longer my home, if it ever was. Having a key to his home was a privilege, a privilege I'm not even sure I really have.

My hands become clammy, and my heart races. I spent hours trying to prepare myself for this moment and now I'm second guessing myself. I don't think I should be here. Seeing his face again may bring me to a door that I'm trying so hard not to open. Heartbreak.

As soon as I think about running back to my car and never returning, the door clicks and is cracked open. My breath lodges in my throat and feet are glued to the ground. He looks just as bad as me. A loose fitted white t-shirt and baggy gray sweat pants hanging below his hips. My heart still beats for him and my body still reacts the same.

I'm not surprised by the look on his face. It has been 2 weeks. 2 weeks since I walked out. 2 weeks of crying. 2 weeks of sorrow. 2 weeks of heartache.

The bags under his eyes and grungy shadow of hairs on his jaw show me that he was as lost as I was. I don't know why. He did this to himself. He let this happen and he made me into an idiot. He made me look stupid and feel like shit. Now he wants to be the one that looks broken. How that shit work?

But no matter what, I can't help but feel sorry for him. What ever he feels, I feel. It's always been that way. When you're in love with somebody, their pain is your pain. Their joy is your joy. Their loss is your loss. You are what they are.

His widened eyes look me up and down as if he's imagining me standing in front of him. Those hazel orbs sparkle with hope. They lose their shine, when he realizes I came for a different reason.

“Hi.” I said softly.

I wasn't here to cuss him out or cause havoc. I just needed to settle my mind. Unanswered questions bubbled with in my brain.

“Hi.” he said gruffly.

“C-can, I come in?” I asked gesturing to the inside of the house.

He nods his head and steps aside as I walk in. It looks the same. Same granite counters. Same glass tables. Same hard wood floors. But it was different. It was empty.

“Want anything?” he asked scratching the back of his head.

“Yes.” I said. “Answers.”

He raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms.

“Okay.” He said. “Wanna sit?”