"I want you two to go back to school for a few months."
I sat in my seat stunned. Last time I was at a school,it was a teacher-parent meeting and that was in the 9th grade.
"But I've already graduated." Josh says to Mrs Wilson.
Wilson shakes her hand.
"Sorry,Mr.Dun. You have to."
"B-but why?" I asked,nervously chewing my thumb nail.
"To experience socialization. You two need more friends than just each other. Maybe a small group around 4 people. Joshua could use a guy friend to play video games with,and you,Amber,could use a girl friend to paint nails with."
"I don't paint my nails nor do I need a friend. I think one is enough. And schools are filled with fake ass people. Every friend you make will just stab you in the back and act like you don't exist. Hell,might even steal your boyfriend."
Mrs Wilson shook her head.
"I'm sorry,you two. But it's my job. And don't worry,if it goes wrong, you won't have to go anymore and continue being homeschooled."
I groaned and leaned back in my seat. Josh looked over at me and gave me a look that basically said 'we're doomed.'
After the meeting,we walked out to Josh's car and got in.
"I'm not going." I said,crossing my arms.
"Amber. I know we're both going to hate it but-"
"Josh,saying just a few simple words isn't going to solve anything."
Josh grabbed my hand and held it against his lips.
"I'm sorry,love. We have to." He whispered gently.
I huffed and sat back in the seat.
Josh started the car and turned on the radio. We silently listened to the soft music playing on the way home.
Josh sings softly along to the radio and tapping his fingers on the wheel to the beat. He looked sadder than usual,and kept rubbing his eyes. I knew this song may have had a connection with him and may have made him emotional. I didn't mind him getting upset over the song,but he seemed to mind.
I stared at him watching his every move. How he would tense a bit when a certain thing would happen. How his brown eyes basically told his feelings. How he clenched his jaw when someone said something. Everything about him was imitating. I'll be honest,I could stare at him all day long.
"This was his favorite song." Josh whispered,looking at the radio ID.
I looked away from the window and saw the song name.
'Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol'
I smiled slightly and saw how he had a tear falling.
"Every time I hear this song I think of him. Hell,everything reminds me of him. A fucking leaf could land on the ground and think of him. And I'll be honest. I fucking hate that shit. I try my best to get over him..but..but I can't."
I tightened my grip on his hand and watched him pull into our driveway and turn off the car.
"I'm sorry," Josh whispered. "I don't know. I just miss him."
I nodded,not knowing what to say.
"I understand." was all I could say.
We sat in the car,sitting in silence.
"You know..Tyler and I actually thought about becoming our own band. I think we wanted to call it Thirty Five Airports or something. And we made up this song for fun in college. And it's actually a true story."
I smiled,knowing Josh was going to tell the story. "I don't have to ask you to tell me because you are anyway. But proceed,my love."
Josh chuckled softly and faced me.
He moved a string of hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear.
"You're so beautiful."
I blushed as I put my head down. I looked back up and smiled.
"Are you going to tell me the story?"
"I will. So in college, Tyler found out some random dude literally stole his car radio. But he didn't notice until he got into his car and tried to turn on the radio. It was gone,though. And he was sad at the time so he figured,'Hey this will make a great song one day.' He showed me what he written and I'll admit,it was amazing. He was an amazing writer.
It was something like , 'somebody stole my car radio and now I just sit in silence.' My favorite line had to be ' Peace will win and fear will lose.'"
I smiled at the way Josh spoke brightly about Tyler.
I always wished to meet him, but maybe one day.
"You really love him don't you?" "A lot,baby. A whole lot."
I told him to come inside so we can eat lunch.
"So what's on the menu today,my love?" I asked,leaning on the kitchen table.
Since my mom is out on a business trip that may take 4 weeks,Josh and I had the whole place to ourselves. I didn't really know how to cook,but luckily Josh knew. We'd usually get take out but we like to cook most of the time.
"Well,we have these long ass noodles. Maybe pasta?" Josh says,showing me a box of noodles he got from the cabinet.
"No that's too much and kinda dinner wise." I heard his phone vibrate repeatedly on the table and saw someone was calling. I picked it up and looked at the I.D.
'Satan (mom)'
"Do you want to answer it?" I asked,showing him the screen.
"I think I finally have the balls."
I laughed and handed it to him.
Once Josh slid his finger across the screen,I could already hear his mother screaming.
Josh walked upstairs,knowing I didn't want to hear him yell even though I will anyway in an empty house.
I figured to start lunch without him,knowing it will be a while.
I grabbed my phone and reached for the Chinese menu we kept.
I looked at the menu and decided on what I wanted.
Since Josh only gets the lomien noodles and sesame seed chicken,I just ordered two of those.
Before I pressed the dial,I heard a clash upstairs.
I knew it wasn't good.
I ran upstairs and into his room.
"Josh?" As I opened the door slowly,I saw Josh in the corner with his knees to his chest and his hands tugging his bright pink hair.
I ran over to him and sat next to him.
I grabbed his phone and saw the screen was at his messages.
I didn't want to read the messages,so I set the phone down and placed my hand on his knee.
"Josh," I whispered.
He quietly sobbed.
"I hate myself so much." He whispered softly.
I scooted closer and his head fell onto my shoulder. I put my head on top of his and played with his fingers.
"Why?"
Josh sighed,pulling me even closer to him.
"Just stay. Okay?"
I didn't say anything. I let Josh quietly cry as I held him.
After about 20 minutes,he stopped and picked his head up. I didn't move at all and concentrated on my right hand intertwined with his left as my left hand was running through his hair.
He pressed his lips against my head and then my cheek. He laid back down on my shoulder.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I whispered,my eyes not leaving our hands.
I looked up and faced him. His eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were pinker than usual and a few tears still falling.
He quickly wrapped his arms around me and sobbed into my neck. I wrapped my arms around his neck.
"She just doesn't get me,you know?"
I nodded,waiting for him to talk more.
"She hates me. Amber no one loves me..or even cares about me. I'm just nothing."
I cupped his face and pressed my lips against his. I pulled back and wiped away a tear falling.
"Don't you ever think no one cares or loves you. Because you have me. And all you need is me. Josh you basically mean everything to me and I don't plan to let you go..at least not yet." I whispered,kissing him once more.
"Amber," Josh whispers,looking down at his hands.
"Hm?"
"I.." he stuttered,wanting to get the word out but couldn't.
"You what?" I said in confusion.
He muttered something I could hear faintly but couldn't make out.
"I just.." He sighed.
"It's okay."
"God dammit Amber. I..I love you. Like,so much."
A giant smile spread across my face.
I hugged him,basically tackling him.
"I love you too. Like,so much." I muffled into his shirt,gigging.
"Now,how about that Chinese I was ordering?"
"Sounds great to me."
