Written Accounts of a DarkRP Hobo

Day 1: From Riches to Rags to Riches

7:00 p.m: Started out well enough, got a job as a mobster running coke, made a decent amount of cash. Shit got fucked when about a half a dozen cops showed up and raised our packaging facility. I was shot dead in the raid while my partner was arrested and swore vengeance in my name. Decided to respawn as a hobo. 

7:30 p.m:  Threw shit at cops and screamed horrible obscenities at passersby. Living the dream. Also have a decent amount of cash in the bank.

7:31 p.m: Fagmin comes by and pulls a gun on me. Says to shut the fuck up or else. Tell him to go fuck himself and I have my right of free speech.

7:32 p.m: Shot dead by the Fagmin

7:33 p.m: Find out the Fagmin decided to zero sum my bank account to piss me off. Began plotting my revenge.

7:56 p.m: Organized a few other hobos into a mini militia, and befriended a gun dealer.

8:00 p.m: With the new moniker of "The Hobo Emperor", and with a ton of ammunition supplied by my best friend the gun dealer (shoutout to L1z4rdF4gg07 for the help), raid the shitty 12 year old admin's base while he was offline.

8:01 p.m: Smash in the front door, swinging my newly acquired Lever Action Shotgun around along with my horde of hobos and the gun dealer. Chaos ensues.

8:02-9:00 p.m: The Great Admin Purge begins. Four cops who were payed by the admins to serve as guards were unfortunate to enough to be in the front room when we kicked the door down. Poor bastard behind the front desk barely had time to question why a bunch of horribly burnt naked skeleton men wielding heavy weapons were screaming variations of "Die Motherfuckers!" and "Fuck tha Polize!" in  addition to a single cry of "WRYYYYYY!" before his brain matter decorated the wall behind him. The other guards followed suit very quickly. We left one alive to access the keypad to the admin's main room, whereupon opening said door he became as intimate with a sawn off as Kirt Kobaine. All four admin's sleeping bodies lay in front of us, so after flinging our shit at them for about five minutes, we opened up their heads with crowbars. We spent the remainder of the hour killing the returning cops and setting up C4 in the admin base

9:01 p.m: All four admin's get online at the same time to find their base covered in hobo shit and C4, and were promptly blown straight to hell by my hobo vanguards. Sadly, I watched my gun dealer friend take a 1911 round to the skull, killing him instantly.

9:02 p.m: We set off the bombs, and watched the dirty, blood and shit stained fireworks. I am not guilty in saying I cackled like a madman watching a planet full of monkeys explode.

9:03 p.m: Three admin's are laughing their asses off at the sheer insanity of the situation they just witnessed while the 12 year old Fagmin started raging and demanding the permanent banning of me and my militia.

9:04 p.m: The three sensible admins decide to rescind the 12 year old's admin privileges (turns out his brother was the owner, and his brother fucking hated him.) The Hobo Purge became a staple event on the server following this incident.

9:05 p.m: Logged off and went to bed.