Desire - The Joker fanfiction

Part 3

After yesterday's events, J brought me back to 'my' room and I lied in this bed thinking ever since. I couldn't sleep, I could only think. I could still feel the electricity causing slight pain throughout my body but I'm slowly getting used to it.

As weird as this sounds, in a way I could understand why the Joker hurt me like that. I always thought differently to others or what the society classes as 'normal'. I always saw the appeal of murder, yes it sounds weird but it always amused me. Murdering someone gives you so much power, YOU are the one deciding whether they live or not, you have the power to take away their life whenever you please and that's the kind of power I always wanted. Of course I never actually killed anyone myself.. Not because I didn't want to because believe me I did, but because I just wasn't strong enough to do it alone since I'm not strong physically, I'd probably get killed sooner, and I didn't know anyone who could help me.

So yes I do see the fun in hurting people and somehow in some freaky way, I understand why the Joker finds it funny and pleasing, because honestly if I could do it, I would.

The thing that made me angry is that he did it to ME. I don't know.. Do it to others yes but not to me. You do it to me, I'll do it back, that's how it works. But now how would I do it back if he's much stronger than me and always ahead of the curve.

I know I'm weak, I've showed it plenty of times, to myself and to him. But I want to show him that I can be just as hurtful.

I must've been awake all night thinking because I didn't even notice the room slowly being lit up by the slight sunlight coming through the tiny window. I didn't catch a second of sleep and I didn't feel like I needed it. I was still fully awake.

The door to the room I was in suddenly opened and the Joker himself entered it, making my eyes snap to his. He was already grinning.

"Doll.." He said in a low voice as he came closer and sat down on the bed, making me shuffle over a little. "Due to the past events I never got to ask your name.."

Really? He came in here to ask for my name? I stared at him with a cold gaze keeping my mouth shut which caused him to roll his head back in laughter.

"If you don't give me a name I'll just make one-"

"Jessica." I interrupted in a harsh tone.

"Well.. Isn't that great," he grinned showing off his metal teeth as he roughly grabbed my chin making me face him. "Just a reminder dear Jessica, don't take that tone with me. It won't end good for you." He said letting go. I just kept my cold stare.

He got off the bed and walked towards the door stopping right before he exited the room. "Oh I just came by to say I'm leaving for a while to do some things. You stay in here. If you try to escape, you'll regret it." He said chuckling as he walked out.

Well this is a great time to think of a way to get him back. He can't keep treating me like this. I need a way to show him I can be bad too.

I waited for a couple of minutes making sure he's gone. Then crept towards the door and twisted the handle, surprisingly it opened. I expected him to lock the door, maybe he's testing me.

I peaked out into the corridor and no one was in sight, once again weird.. Didn't he leave any goons to look after me? Surely he doesn't trust me this much after one day.

Taking my chances, I went to my right. I need to find something, a weapon maybe, something I can hurt him with. But do I even want to hurt him? Honestly no, I don't. For some reason I felt like I shouldn't hurt him, although I wouldn't care if I hurt anyone even my family but him, I only wanted to hurt him to get back at him and show him I'm not as weak as I look. Or maybe even show myself I can be stronger.