Desire - The Joker fanfiction

Part 13

By now I have surrendered to my feelings. I can't change my feelings but I can change my attitude towards them. J didn't reply to me after I asked the question. I had hoped that the answer was yes and that he did indeed trust me but I don't know what's going through his mind so I can't really tell.

Instead, I had my arms wrapped around the clown, my head rested on his shoulder and I enjoyed the warmth radiating off his body onto mine. He sat there for a while, unmoving. He didn't return my gesture, he simply sat there motionless. But I didn't mind, I just wanted to be near him now and I didn't care if I showed too much affection. We both knew how I felt.

"You can walk around the warehouse." He said abruptly. I took my head off his shoulder and looked up at him. I felt my lips stretch into a grin. He looked down at me with a serious expression. "But if you even dare to run away, or try to walk out of those doors, I won't hesitate to-"

"I won't, I promise." I interrupted him and his invisible eyebrows scrunched together, almost like he didn't believe me. 

"Good. Because I hope you know that if you do, I will put you through so much pain, you will regret being alive." He chuckled to himself but I kept smiling and nodded.

He then got up and walked towards another room before stopping and turning around to face me once more.

"Oh, doll, one more thing," He said smiling, "don't think that this means I trust you, because I still don't trust you. Not. One. Bit." He then proceeded to laugh manically, the laugh echoing through the warehouse as he walked off.

My smile disappeared then. I thought I was getting through to him, I thought maybe he is trusting me a little by letting me walk free in the house, but I guess not.

I decided to take myself on a little tour around the warehouse since I haven't seen all of it yet. I discovered that it was a two storey warehouse. It had many rooms, most were bedrooms, I'm guessing for his goons. I found a kitchen, a rather big bathroom, even a little library with a few sofas. That is where I stopped, I figured since there is nothing better for me to do I might as well just read a book, its better than sitting in that old room.

The next few days were quiet. J only came to see me to tell me he was leaving for one of his "business" things and then he'd leave for the whole day and come back smelling like smoke. He was more serious with me, more strict ever since he'd let me roam the warehouse. But I didn't even dare go near the doors. I wanted to stay but more importantly, I wanted to gain his trust. I would do anything to make him trust me but I don't know how. It's like everything else on my mind vanished and he was the only thing that mattered and that was my main goal: gain his trust. If that is even possible, which is doubtful if you know this guy.

I was reading yet another book when once again I heard the doors burst open and groaning from the entrance of the warehouse. I instantly threw my book onto the sofa and ran towards the noise. As I expected, Mr J and his henchmen were once again hurt, even worse than last time. So I ran to them and looked at J leaning on the wall laughing to himself and mumbling words. How could he be laughing when theres a blood gushing wound in his leg?

"What are you looking at? Go bring me the medical kit!" I shouted at one of the goons who instantly ran and brought it to me.

"Come with me." I told J as I put his arm around my shoulder and guided him to the sofa while I patched him up once again, this time leaving me covered in his blood. I felt tears prick my eyes at the sight of him being hurt but he didn't seem affected by it at all. "What happened? Who did this to you?" I asked while sitting by his side and he chuckled again.

"You sure do have those questions coming doll." He laughed. "The old Batty wanted to play, I couldn't say no."

So it was batman. And instantly I felt this sudden anger towards batman. He hurt Mr J, so badly, he could have died. I know he's stronger than this but still, next time could be worse. No one gets to hurt Mr J like this. I wanted so badly to have some kind of power to go out there and hurt batman just as bad. I could only hope Mr J left him in a worser condition than himself.

"Tell me you've hurt him twice as bad." I told Mr J, looking straight into his eyes.

"Why so serious?" He laughed.

"I hate seeing you hurt." I reply with a serious voice.

"Why?" He grinned at me.

"Because I care." I said and his smile dropped. He scrunched his eyebrows together and tilted his head to the side. Then all of a sudden he bursted into maniac laughter. "What! Why are you laughing?"

He continued laughing, almost crying of laughter, as if it was the funniest thing in the world which left me dumbfounded. 

"Doll, you sure know how to tell a good joke, I'm proud of ya!" He laughed and left the room before I could say anything.

"But I mean it." I whispered, more to myself.

The rest of the henchmen have scattered off to either their rooms or god knows where. I got up and went to my room and lied on the bed.

Thoughts were frustrating me. Why won't he believe me? I mean it. I care about him so much. Much more than I intended to at the beginning. He's bringing me in more and more every time I'm near him. I just wish I knew how to prove it to him, but I am too weak to do anything.

I hope his leg doesn't hurt. Maybe it hurts and he doesn't want to show it, or maybe it doesn't. I truly don't know. I decided to go ahead and find out, I got up and walked to his bedroom and knocked and walked in. He was sat at his desk with some blueprints in front of him.

"What do you want? I'm busy." He said without looking up at me.

"I wanted to see how your leg was." I said and he looked up at me.

He got up and jumped around a few times, danced and walked over to me. "Does that answer your question?" I nodded. "Good, now get out and don't bother me with stupid questions." He said as he went to sit down.

I left the room and went back to mine. I am going to find a way to prove myself to him.