Truly Yours 2 | J. Cole

8 | Truly Yours 2

Christina Marie Lee-Cole

The next day, I woke up with Grammy heavily on my mind. There was only reason why she was the first thought that popped into my head. Today was her birthday! God I missed her so much! I had to stop by the flower shop to get some nice carnations to leave at her grave site today. I haven't been to her grave site since the day we buried her.

It's not that I didn't care to bother visiting her, I just chose not to. It hurts too much to know that she's no longer living. The thought of her itself floods back so many memories and tears. It hurts to know that if I visit her tombstone to talk to her, she won't be able reply back. Who else am I suppose to run to when I have a problem and I need advice?

Grammy was my everything. She was my best friend, my back bone, and I hate to say it - but she was even my mother. Grammy loved me better than my actual mother did. As far as I'm concerned, Grammy was my mother, and still is.

Once washing up, brushing my teeth, then getting dressed, I waited for Jermaine to do the same. He was going with me. Just think, it was weird knowing that I actually met Jermaine through Grammy. J was a friend of the family, and was always such a good friend to me. Even though I absolutely hated his guts when I first met him.

You know how the story goes.

When I first met him, he always had such a cocky vibe to him. He acted as if he could get any girl he wanted. Of course he tried spitting game on me, but I wasn't going for it. He was cute, but I wasn't going to tell him that. After begging me for weeks if he could take me out, I eventually gave in and went on a date with him.

The rest has been history.

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Once picking up a dozen carnations from the flower shop, and a pretty water-filled vase to put them in, me and J made our way to the cemetery. I had J drive since I was a fairly emotional person. The closer we go to the cemetery, the closer I was on the verge of tears. I hated cemeteries. I hated being around anything death related.

When finally arriving, J located Grammy's tombstone, and found a reasonable place to park. He decided he would go and pay her a visit first, then I would go after him. Both of us wanted our alone time when talking to her. I had a lot to say, so I would go last. I figured J wouldn't say much, so I let him go first.

J was more a reserved type of person when it came to his feelings. He always had much to say, but he never let people into his mind and thoughts. It even takes a lot for me to get him to talk to me when ever he's deep in thought or not in a good mood.

Just like I had figured, J didn't take long at Grammy's tombstone. When he got back, I noticed that he looked as if he was crying, but I disregarded it. He probably just wanted to be left alone at the moment. So I let him be. As soon as I grabbed the vase full of flowers, I made my way to her grave.

"Hey Grammy," I said aloud as I slowly took a seat down on the ground.

There was a lot of dirt around her grave of course, but I didn't care. Grammy was more important than the pair of jeans I had on, that could easily be replaced.

"Happy birthday," I smiled as I sat the vase of carnations next to her tombstone.

"I miss you so much," I began to start as I felt tears already welling up in my eyes.

"There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about you. You were my best friend, my sister, my mother, my back bone, my everything. I can't even believe that it has been almost a year with out you Grammy. I wish you were still here! It's so many things I want to tell you. Remember when you told me I needed to find a man?" I chuckled.

I thought back to the last day I saw her, which was on her death bed.

"I finally found one Grammy," I smiled while wiping away the tears that were falling down my face.

"Well, not really found, I just .. relocated him," I smiled even bigger.

"I don't know if Jermaine told you when he came earlier, but he finally got his life together and fixed what he had to. J is everything I could ever ask for, and I can honestly say that I am happy. He's not perfect, but who is? He's perfect for me so that's all that matters. He proposed not too long ago, and I'm three weeks pregnant with our first child. You're going to be a great grandma! And I'll be sure to save you a seat in the front row at our wedding! I wish you were still here, but I hope you're looking down on me with a smile on your face. I hope you're proud of not only me, but Claire. We've finally put the past behind us, and are slowly but surely becoming closer. Our mom on the other hand? That's Claire's best friend and you're mine. Some people just never change you know?" I chuckled.

"Well, tell God to save me a spot in heaven! I love and miss you dearly Grammy. Happy birthday, and see you soon," I smiled as I wiped the final tears off of my face, then kissed her tombstone.

After standing and soaking in the moment for a while, I joined Jermaine back inside the car. We instantly embraced each other without saying a word. Once holding each other for what felt like forever, I got a call from Claire. She was inviting me and Jermaine over for dinner. She said it was sort of a birthday celebration for Grammy. Although me Claire still weren't the best of sisters, I appreciated her efforts on trying to bring us closer.

I certainly hope Grammy is proud.