You are what you eat HP

Potter I Do

(Marriage music plays on the harp)
Harry is walking down the aisle looking fabulous in his tuxedo. Hermione had her arms looped in his arm as she walked him over to the front of the church.

Ron was the flower girl. He looked hilarious in a dress. Harry had forced him into that job. His eyes were watering in his effort not to laugh.

Everything went silent and Harry saw two figures walking down the aisle. The first one he recognized was Bellatrix, wearing a pink dress covered in sequins. She wore a crown and heels.

Next to her, looking as majestic as ever, was Voldemort. He wore a poofy white wedding dress and a veil covered his face. That was the reason Harry didn't recognize him.

They reached the front and Voldemort stood facing Harry. Everyone turned to the doors at the back of the church. Bursting through those doors was Draco Malfoy bearing the ring.

Draco was completely naked except for a speedo bathing suit with a tuxedo pattern.

Striding down the aisle, he kneeled in front of Harry. Harry accepted the ring and knelt in front of Voldemort.

"Will you marry me?" Harry asked. Voldemort looked flattered. "Yes." He responded.

They started saying the vows. It took forever. Finally they got to the part everyone had waited for.

"Do you, Harry James Potter, take Voldemort to be your mutual hated enemiess?"

"I do."

"Do tou, Tom Marvolo Voldemort Riddle, take Harry to be your mutual hated enemy?"

"I do"

"You may now show each others hatred to each other in an act of bonding."

Both of the men held up their middle finger and taped the ends.

"I now pronounce you, mutual enemies!" Said the man reading the vows. Everyone clapped and then a huge battle broke out and everyone died.