Poems (:

Murder (Rant, Not necessarily a poem)

(Just my thoughts/feelings putting out onto paper because I really needed to get them out. Not even sure if this is a poem or just basically a rant. Skip it if you're not in for the ride. There are many mistakes because I couldn't care less to correct it. I just had to get my feeling and thoughts out.)

Somehow I'm not sure

You've gotten under my skin

Before you were the one to hold me, tell me things were gonna be okay

The next you're the one who tries to stick me with a sharp knife

Now you try to bend me and you break me

You got under my skin so deep and I didn't realize how close I'd come to losing myself

You took my heart and you threw the rest of me into the fire

I was wasted

Wasted on you

I lost sight of myself and what was best for me.

You told me you were the best, I believed you.

I believed all the lies you told me.

I believed you would stay.

I believed you cared.

I believed you loved me.

But now I'm left back where I started where I'm one of those '"just another's"

I told you I was, but you told me I wasn't

The signs told me to stop believing because I'd get hurt, but no

I fell for you.

I fell way too hard.

And instead of you catching me, you left me to hit the ground.

And guess what?

You may be okay, but I never will be.

You were the one thing that helped me through everything and you cursed me with your selfish lies.

I believed every single one of them.

And you left me hating myself more than I ever had.

The things you told me were lies within themselves

So now I'm here feeling angry, then sad, then confused, then

Empty...

Empty.

Empty!

And you don't even give a shit anymore.

You've lost all respect for humanity in your world of perfection.

I know this is exaggerated.

I know it's all just another poem.

Just another word.

But at one time or another I've felt it.

I've said it.

I've been lost in it.

And now I'm just now figuring out what it means to be found.

Because of you leaving, I've found what, who, means the most to me.

Who's going to be there till the end.

And it's not the deceitful things of this earth, but it's God.

It was never you that was the one holding me together.

It was God.

You wrecked me,

You wrecked me.

And just like that beautiful song goes, it always has to end.

The chorus is over and the last lyric is to be sung.

Now I'm onto a new song, one that's much more eternal.

One that doesn't make much sense.

One that I can only trust and believe is God's plan.

So once your fantasies end and your replacements leave you, where will you be?

Certainly not right back with me.

You screwed me over to say the least.

I'd say I'm over it, but I'm not, and I never will be.

And what ticks me off most is you have people around you that see you,

Even if they are fake and just a replacement. They'll see you for what you're worth one day, when you move on from them too.

Spare them the grief and sorrow and give them a heads up before you screw them over like you did me.

For their own sake.

They don't deserve to feel the pain like you caused me.

I beg you to just finally realize who you are and give up with the lies and camo

Just be yourself for once and learn to love like God loves.

As I was saying, with your new friends, I have some of my own.

Granted if I told them some of the things I told you, some of the things about us, they'd leave me just like you did.

I'm not saying it's my fault, they just wouldn't accept it.

But one of them would, one of them I have confidence in.

One of them is not going to leave me just yet.

One of them treats me like I want to be treated and the same for me to her.

And with all this stuff I've laid down in front of me and God

I've found rest.

I know where my strength stands and I plan on staying with it this time.

I'm letting it all go, go to Him because He will take care of it.

He will take care of me.

Jesus take it away.

Take away the pain.

Take it away.

Rescue me from my murdered soul. ♥