Poems (:

Thoughts Left Unspoken (Not very poetic)

I dream of a day...

When all of this will fade...

It'll turn to grey...

My sins were paid...

Somehow I still felt out of place...

Nothing was mine...

I wasn't...real?

I wanted to get real...

I wanted to be real...

My thoughts went downhill...

No, this couldn't be happening.

Not again?

To think all the thoughts that had been left to die.

Left to fade into the black.

Somehow dreams caught up to me...

They closed up like memories forgotten...

Was it really worth it?

To love something but let it go?

Because I couldn't measure up.

See they say Heaven's got a plan for me...

But maybe I just lie somewhere in between.

I want to be precious...

I want to be the long lost love of His life.

He had already found me before I was lost.

I was never lost...

He was there the whole time.

Life carries on...

I try...and try...and try...

Is it really my fault?

What if I was wrong?

What if it's all my fault?

What if...

Everything I thought I was doing is a lie?

What if it's all a lie made up from the devil...

What if I'm really alone...

Lost?

But I can't be...

No.

I won't let myself fall that hard again.

Not after everything I've been through.

I...won't.

Never again.

Satan had won once....

God saved me from his grasp.

I'm constantly in the middle of tug-o-war...

Wondering which side I'm really on...

I can't fall into temptation or doubt...

Not again.

I can't do any of this again...

No...

I promise I'm trying...

I promise...

I try to stay strong...

I try to be the God Girl you want me to be...

But somehow...

I always fall short...

Will I ever measure up?

Can I ever be what I want myself to be?

Or maybe...I'm suppose to be what You want me to be...?

Help me?

God...

Keep me strong.

Keep me strong...