Sitting With Liam

Chapter 4 - Alone

Jayel has been texting both Harry and Louis and some other guy friends. She says she's really into all of them and can't make up her mind.

I just have my mind on Liam who by the way is never here. At least Jayel can hang out with her other guy friends.

I could get out there and get to know other guys but I want Liam. He treats me right and I don't want to risk that with someone who doesn't.

Although I know Liam is out there and that he's a great guy I feel so alone when Jayel talks about all of these guys and all I do is just obsess over Liam who I can't just randomly snuggle with.

Liam has told me he has avoided going on dates with girls since he's waiting to get back to me. But it's not like has a bunch of time going on dates when he's on tour anyway. I on the other hand have plenty of time so it's harder for me.

I cannot wait for Liam to get back so I can brag all I want about him to Jayel and to show her how one guy can be great. She just needs to choose. I honestly think she's gonna choose Louis, but that's mainly because that's who I ship her with the most.

I think the only reason Jayel is talking with these other guys is because Harry and Louis are on tour so she starts to feel lonely too.

I am kinda jealous that she has all these guys who want her and can be there for her and i'm just sitting over here waiting for Liam in hope that it works out. If it doesn't I don't have anyone to fall back on.

I don't want to lead on a couple guys and when one finally asks me out I suddenly drop the other guy. I couldn't do that to a person. But I guess she's smart to have back ups and if that works out for her then great, that's just something I won't do. I'm not that outgoing.

At least I have someone who really likes me and I can text him. I'm not totally alone, just physically alone.

He only has about a month left of his tour i'm sure it'll go by fast if I don't think about it too much.

It's just one month out of my entire life. It's compared to nothing, after this i'll be just fine and have Liam back. We'll have a happy life together and all will be well. It'll be fun and i'll support whatever Jayel chooses to do, even if she doesn't choose Louis.

Liam hasn't just sent me pictures from the concert in my city, he's sent me his favorite pictures from everywhere else.

I'm glad he's having fun. It's not my place to complain about being lonely to him since we've just met and only went on one date. But he's right, I feel like i've been on 15 dates with him. Being a directioner i've gotten to know him pretty well. I'm just gonna keep our relationship on his level and not worry about it too much. It's not like we're boyfriend and girlfriend.

The media doesn't even know about us. And directioners can figure out anything. So our relationship isn't much of a relationship. He's just a guy i've been texting. Maybe I should get out there more and meet some guys. I just won't have a serious relationship with anyone until Liam gets back and hopefully that serious relationship is with him.

Since i've decided this i've texted Liam less and thought about him less. I have tried to meet people more. I've gone on one date and that guy didn't come close to how Liam treats me. I just don't want Liam to think i'm really attached to him. I don't want to seem clingy. I know guys hate that.

When I do think about Liam I get butterflies. I seriously can't wait for him to get back.