I'm So Dirty Babe

Soft

It'd been nearly a week since Frank found out, and while he was scared of me, he either wasn't scared enough to leave, but now that I think about it, maybe he was scared to leave. We'd moved all of his belongings permanently into my place, it was no a slow game of unpacking what was needed. I hadn't made a kill since the day, how could I? Frank would see it on the news, and he'd know it was me right away. And he'd cry like he had and he'd flip out, and I'd lose my temper, I couldn't do that again. I couldn't believe I'd marked up that soft white skin of his face, the bruises were fading now. I kissed them each morning when we woke up, And every night before he fell asleep.

I would wake up and turn on my reading light and draw him, just his face, paying special attention to his bruises, making sure I captured them. I never wanted to forget what I'd done to him, I'd never forgive myself the way Frank was able to forgive me. Despite everything, he seemed to understand. He understood why I felt compelled to kill, almost like he had the same driving force, only he never acted upon it. He didnt hold back from kissing me, he didnt even bring it up. I thought maybe he wasn't scared. But like I said, I now think he was past scared. He stayed because of his fear and he let it eat him alive.

We spent evenings cooking dinner together and then we'd cuddle on the couch. Sometimes he fell asleep like a boy on my lap, and if carry him to bed, looking after him, making sure he was safe and out of harms way. Without Frank I would have nothing, do nothing, be nothing. The way he needed me was the driving force behind 'us.' If I wasn't there, he fell and broke apart, but as long as I formed a support beam, he could stab on his own. And in a way that I knew was twisted, I absolutely loved my influence and power over him.

One day he came and sat in my lap while I sat on the couch in just a pair of jeans after my shower. He kissed my neck, turning me on. He kept smiling at me. And perhaps his need for me to except what he dished out sexually was another reason I loved him, perhaps it was myself convincing my mind he didnt stay out of fear.

It was that afternoon I had carried frank effortlessly up to the bedroom and decided he was ready, and boy had I been missing out.