Diner World

05/ SOFT-SERVED SPACE FETUSES OF DANTE SEVEN

I was working diligently at my chalkboard when two beings entered the university's lecture hall, unannounced and without solicitation. They floated on platforms that were not there, bobbing in nothingness like two beach balls in a rippling ocean current. The proximity of their disproportionate relationship with gravity seemed to have a set limit: they proceeded down stairs roughly at the same height level as a normal person's head. I did not notice them immediately, I was much too involved in my notions regarding the true nature of space-time to realize that two fetuses suspended in blobs of amniotic fluid were moving towards me. The equations on the board ran together in my mind, each providing the framework for the next and the next and the next. The numbers became a gateway into an unknown universe of which I was only just gleaming. One of the space fetuses cleared its throat. I turned to look at her and was not in the least bit impressed by what I saw.

"Can it wait?" I said, my chalk on the verge of touching the board in a new stroke of reason, "I'm quite busy at the moment. Interrupting someone in the middle of their train of thought is a dalliance not taken lightly in the world of science."

The fetus cleared its throat again. How does a fetus clear its throat if it is not yet fully developed? This, among other questions regarding the nature of space fetuses, would have to be dealt with by someone other than myself. I did not have time to worry about such things. The fetus spoke into my mind, its voice produced without sound and without a need for vocal cords of the conventional variety. "Pardon my intrusion, my dear lady. I was only going to comment on the nature of your equation. See, part of it is missing." The fetus pointed to a section of the board with its mind and then drew something there with a fine tipped piece of psychic chalk. I looked on and gasped. I rubbed my glasses with the end of my sweater to ensure that what I saw was not the advent of a particularly clever smudge on the lens. It wasn't.

"You're right!" I said, "I made a mistake in assuming that the nature of reality is simply one set of ever branching timelines. This suggests that there are many spools that loop back on one another." I tucked a piece of stray hair behind my ear and stood in awe at the complexity of what I had accomplished.

"Precisely," the other fetus spoke now. Her mind voice sounded different than that of the other but I suppose that was to be warranted with individuality among spheres. "Now, if you would excuse us, we have business of which to attend."

I felt bad for my initial rudeness towards the two cosmic beings. They were really just trying to help after all, they did not mean any harm whatsoever towards myself or my state of being. I was indebted to them. I yelled for them to wait. They were halfway up the stairs but they stopped and turned around at my plea, wishing to hear me out. "Would you like to stay for a cup of tea?" I hoped that I wasn't too loud.

The two fetuses looked at each other, communicating beyond the realm of my understanding. After a moment or two in heated mental conversation, they turned around and faced me. One of them cleared its throat. I lost track of which fetus was which, they both looked so similar. The one that cleared her throat spoke. "We would be honored if you would receive us."

I wasn't used to receiving guests, let alone two fetuses originating from a place surreptitiously labeled Dante Seven. I had led them into my office, in which a small table with three chairs was shoved into a corner. The office was a faded teal color with scuffed wooden furniture and a poster hanging on the wall proclaiming the owner's love for a particular brand of economical coffee beans. The fetuses each sat, or rather floated, at a chair of their choosing. I did not understand how they could possibly drink tea considering they had not yet formed working mouths. I did not care to ask. I assumed the answer would present itself one way or another. I returned from the faculty lounge with three cups of steaming Earl Grey and two hands desperately wishing to escape from the searing heat of the moment. I set one cup each in front of the beings and then took the last cup for myself, sitting down opposite the strange newcomers. One of the fetuses extracted a bit of the tea without touching the cup. The liquid mysteriously vanished as if a ghost was sipping in secret. My original peevishness with the fetuses' arrival was quickly replaced with a sense of profound alienation. I suppose this was my first glimpse into extraterrestrial life.