Fantasies

0_27

Reed.

I scroll through my Instagram news feed, coming across Baller Alert. Darius is taking over their Gram and Snapchat. He went to the yacht party and I decided to stay home. I'm still paying for the other night, not to mention this constant throwing up I've been doing. 

I've noticed if I don't have at least one drink a day, I feel incomplete and that's a problem. I started drinking at a young age, basically to escape the drama my father caused in the house constantly. It was like my comfort when I didn't feel like dealing with what my parents had going on.

I grab my wine glass, putting it to my lips but drop it as soon as I got dizzy. I feel my heart beat speed, putting my iPad down and hold my chest. I grab my phone and call for an ambulance, my speech impaired. I told them my problem and of course they asked questions of symptoms. Anything that I'm enduring I answered yes too. When done, I hung up and hold my head as the emotions rolled through my mind.

"Mom!" I call out. I hear her foot steps sobbing as she came to me.

"What's wrong baby?" She questions in concern. I try to explain but my speech is so slurred it's hard to understand. I explain to her about the ambulance and she grabs some things, leading our way down to the lobby. After a while the ambulance arrives, my mother comforts me with words as they paramedics put an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth.

"Ima call Darius ok." My mom sniffs and grabs my hand. I shake my head no while closing my eyes.

"You don't want me to call him?" She questions. I shake my head no, my breathing hitched in sobs.

"Let h-him en-en-joy himself mama." I struggle to get out, fluttering my eyes completely shut.

"Dean-"

"Mama just do what I tell you. I'm fine." I tell her. She nods in defeat, shaking her head as we held hands. I know she wants to call Darius because she concerned but I'm fine. Darius is on a yacht that won't be back to land until sometime tonight. Hopefully I get home before he does because he'll have a fit. I doubt I will though. I shake my head and just tell my mom to call Darius. Most likely, he'll come by tomorrow because it'll past visiting hours by the time he gets home.

After a fifteen minute ride to the hospital, we finally arrive and my mother is with me every step of the way. My vision blurs to the lights and nurses standing over me as they told me to stay with them. What ever questions they asked, I answered them the best way I knew how. We enter a room and I look around at the IV and all the other things needed. They ran a couple of test and gave me some fluids, I know now it's going to take forever to know the results. Emergency room visits take forever.

"How do you feel?" My mom questions pulling up a chair.

"Weak." I frown, rubbing my stomach.

"What did Darius say?" I question, closing my eyes. I feel my mother's hand rub over my head and tuck my hair behind my ear.

"They're in the middle of the lake but he said as soon as they come to land, he'll come see you." I nod and furrow my brows as I swallow.

"Mama." I call.

"Yea baby." She responds. I open my eyes and turn to her, tears in the brim of my eyes. I might as well face it because it's the truth. I can't sit here and try to fight it, my father has been in this same predicament before.

"I'm an alcoholic." I confess. She nods and sniffs, grabbing my hand while interlocking our fingers.

"I know Deanda. Sadly I saw you going down this road, but I thought you wanted to be better than your father." She sighs.