A Rush of Blood to the Head

Chapter 11

"Don't"

A familiar voice returned Chris to his senses. He smiled and looked up. Those stunning green eyes gleamed.

"About time you show up...Where the hell have you been, woman?", he asked.

"Somewhere inside your head I guess", Max said, "Put that down" she pointed to the Swiss knife.

"Why?"

"You know you don't want to end your life"

"I do"

"I wouldn't have been here then...You know you want to fix this... but the pain is too much to handle"

Chris sighed.

"Abandoning everything and running away is not an option", Max said, sternly.

"Yeah...Well I choose it"

"Not an option...so you can't choose it."

Chris remained still. It was just too much to handle. Too much.

"I'll make a deal", Max said.

"Yeah?"

"You don't use the Swiss knife to well...kill yourself...but you use sleeping pills"

"I don't have those..."

"Sure you do...In the left bedside drawer...For tours and stuff"

Chris got up. He stumbled but managed to make his way to the bedroom. He found the pills and sat on the bed looking at the bottle.

"You never cease to surprise me", He said.

Max stood at the door, "So....deal?"

"Yeah"

Chris poured out about seven pills on his palm.

"Three and half...", Max said.

"What?"

"You are gonna take three and half pills"

"There's no reason why I shouldn't take seven..."

"Trust me..."

Chris sighed. He did as told and put three pills back in. He broke one pill into two.

"That's my boy", Max said.

Chris managed to grin a little. All those pain and suffering all over the years. All those sleepless nights. All those secrets he kept. They were soon going to be over. 

It will be over, soon.

"Amsterdam all over again, huh lad?", Max walked up to the bed.

Chris shrugged. 

"Worse..."

"Take your time"

Chris remembered the time he wrote Amsterdam. It was the beginning of 2002. Coldplay had been a huge hit and he had become popular overnight. He had a hot girlfriend and he was living his dream but something was missing. Chris didn't feel happy. Rather, he felt depressed. His feelings for Jonny seemed to never leave him alone anymore. Every time he looked at those stunning green eyes, his heart used to race. Every time Jonny's beautiful lips had a smile, he couldn't stand still. Every time he used to be sad, Chris' stomach would be in turns. Every time a tear rolled down Jonny's face, his insides felt ripped apart. This had started to become a huge problem. He couldn't stand still near Jonny, yet he couldn't lock all his feelings away. His girlfriend was smart enough to know something was going on, but dumb enough to blame him all the time. And then suddenly out of nowhere, Chris' father had suffered a heart attack. He had to be rushed to a hospital. And just two days later Chris' mother had to be taken to the emergency as she had developed pneumonia. In short Chris was going through a very hard time. And to make things even difficult, he had called it quits with his girlfriend. On the surface he seemed happy and ecstatic. But he was breaking inside. Nobody understood.