Amnesia (a.i.)

Chapter Six: I never could

Ashton

  I smiled at the scene that played out in front of me. Allie was pinned on the floor by her brother, laughing loudly as she tried to wrestle him off of her. They were yelling about how much they missed each other and the noises coming out of Allie as she tried to fight back were almost inhuman. The two of them were the closest I had ever seen siblings, even I wasn't that close with mine. They never fought with each other, besides some play fights that always ended with someone getting bitten, and their bond was one that never could be broken. I always believe Allie and I's bond was the strongest, until I broke it and threw it in the trash. I regretted every second of that night, and I had no idea how to ever make it up to her. I still remember everything said, all the pain in her eyes, it broke me just thinking about it. I fucked up, big time, and I don't know if I can ever heal the wounds I caused her. But this was a start. I called Sebastian as soon as Allie left me on the balcony, knowing if he were to be here, she might at least talk to me without crying. I hated to see here cry, it always hurt me inside to watch.

  "Sebastian if you don't remove your smelly ass body from me I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved!" Allie threatened her brother with a laugh. 

   "Jokes on you Allie Cat, you're the only one one I've ever loved." Seb stuck his tongue out at his little sister as she squirmed below him.

  "Oh really? Because if I remember correctly, you left Mr. Squibbles here last time you visited." An evil grin spread across Allie's face as I began to remember the stuffed teddy bear.

 Allie's parents had taken us to an amusement park when we were younger. Their dad had won the bear for Seb and a large stuffed llama for Allie. It was an amusing day for me, cause I got to watch Allie carry around the llama that was probably only a foot smaller than her. We were ten at the time, Sebastian was twelve. He had complained that the bear was "too young" for him, but eventually I started to notice he had brought it everywhere, even named it. 

   "You wouldn't dare." He narrowed his eyes, moving off of his sister and standing up to tower over her. 

  "Awh, is little Sebastian worried about losing his teddy bear." I joined in on the siblings, making it seem like the old times. 

  "Shut it Irwin, I'll still kick your ass." Sebastian tried to look serious, but failed miserably when a smile spread across his face. 

  "Do it you won't!" I shouted at Seb, sticking out my tongue out at him. 

  He hopped up off of Allie and ran towards me. I mouthed 'now' to Allie, she smiled and nodded taking off behind her brother. I stopped short, causing Sebastian to tumble into me. Allie proceeded to jump on her brother's back, knocking the both of us over.

 "Dog pile!" Michael shouted, jumping on top of the three of us who laid on the floor. 

 The other two guys joined in, each of them adding their weight to me, who sadly got stuck on the bottom of this mess. 

 The sound of Allie's laughter filled the small apartment's living room, and I couldn't help but think back to old times where this was normal. This was almost perfect. 

  I didn't want Allie to hate me anymore, I don't think I could stand it anymore if she did. Every part of my body ached for her, and hurting her was the worst thing I could have ever done. Over the years I learned to deal with the pain of losing her, but seeing her just brought everything back again. 

 "I can't breathe!" Allie yelled out in between laughs. 

"You can't breathe?" I choked out as Sebastian's elbow dug into my stomach. 

 One by one everyone stood up, and to my surprise, Allie offered a hand to help me up.

"Thanks," I flashed her a brief smile, but she looked away too soon. 

"Do you think we can talk, in private." Allie's voice was barley above a whisper, and she refused to meet my eyes. 

"Of course," I spoke softly, trying to hide my excitement. 

She nodded and walked away for a moment, speaking to her roommates. They nodded at whatever she said to them, and looked back at me. She nodded for me to follow her, so I began to walk down the hallway that led to her bedroom. 

Once in her room, Allie shut the door behind me and took a deep breath before she spoke. 

"I don't know how long I can do this, so I'd rather it be done sooner then later." She sighed out. "I know we haven't spoken in a while, and I know things can't go back to the way they were before.." 

As she began to trail off, I reached out and grabbed her hand. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that happened that night, I was so stupid. I lost the best thing to come into my life and fucked everything up." I began to rush out the words, hoping she wouldn't stop me. "If I could turn back time and change everything I would. I just, please, I can't handle another day with you hating me." 

Tears started forming in Allie's eyes, and she looked down at her feet for a moment. I was terrified of what would happen next, but all my fears disappeared when I felt her pull me closer to her. Her small arms wrapped tightly around my torso, I could feel her shaking against me. II held her close as she cried, and tear started slipping down my face as well. I felt completed again, as if she was the piece of me that I had been missing for so long, she fixed me again. 

"I never hated you, as much as I tried, I never could." Allie's voice cracked slightly as she pulled away from the hug. 

I reached and softly wiped away the tears from her face. 

"I don't think I'd be able to live if you did."