2 Loves; s.w&d.l (BWWM)

8. connections retie at the perfect time

I'M VEXED. PERPLEXED EVEN. Why would he pull that shit on me? I've been there for him for under a decade of my life and he repays me like this? I was always there. I thought he'd do the same for me. I can't even see the letter 'S' without being angered. Unfortunately, the only place I can think to drive to is Starbucks. This would of been a perfect time to see my mum for advice but since she moved back to London two years ago, I can't. The phone just wouldn't be the same. So coffee would have to do! To think I broke Derek's heart for this dick swallowing delinquent. I guess God placed this lesson in front of me for a reason.
I pull up into the Starbucks parking lot and get out slamming the door. The looks I got on the way in from the way I stomped into Starbucks made me even more furious.
"Hello, how are you?-"
Who the fuck are you to ask me that question like you get paid extra to talk to me? Bitch, serve me the vomit of basic bitches.
"I'll have a caramel coffee frappuccino with two pumps of vanilla and two extra pumps of caramel. Cream at the bottom and at the top please." I gave the most pleasant face my internal self would allow my external self portray. I can't believe I even said please. To think I was happy Sam still wanted to be with me yesterday, to have the dreams of our future together shattered. I haven't washed so I had last night's clothes and dirty still on me. I place my head in the table, listening to the music in my earphones. The song, "Gemini Feed" by Banks played and the lyrics felt perfect to my situation;
"Open up your eyes
There's nothing on my body left to see
I tried a thousand times
I tried to say 'I love you', but you didn't hear me
And you're passive-aggressive
Convinced me other people didn't care about me

And you're passive-aggressive
You're passive-aggressive
You're passive-aggressive

And to think you would get me to the altar
Like I follow you around like a dog that needs water
But admit it that you wanted me smaller
If you would have let me grow
You could have kept my love

Ode to my two thighs
I still want you to kiss 'em cause they're lonely
And why you so surprised?
And when I said I miss, you you never believed me?
And we were so depressive
You and me together we were gemini feed

And we were so depressive
We were so depressive
We were so depressive, hey

And to think you would get me to the altar
Like I follow you around like a dog that needs water
But admit it that you wanted me smaller
If you would have let me grow
You could have kept my love."

I daydreamed about how it could be with Derek until -
"Kian!"
"It's Kyann!"
"It's Kyann!"
The fuck?!
I rotate my heavy head from the window towards the waiting area where I see the familiar face that matched the familiar voice. The dark features. The Arabic on his neck. The glint in his eyes. He looked beat down. Like he hasn't been eating in months. Like something was getting to him.

I walk up to the counter and grabbed me drink before returning to my seat to continue my daydreaming whilst consuming the drink.

"Kyann......"
"I'm sorry,"
Tears start to stream down my face as I just felt bad. I felt dead inside. I gave my all into something unreal. I should of invested in him. That's what my heart said. My heart said him but my brain said that. Lilian was wrong for once. That bitch is the reason I feel like this. Good we aren't friends anymore. Especially as I know she was the figure in Sam's house.

He came around the table to hug me. Gosh, I missed his hugs. Security was all I needed.

"Don't cry. You have nothing to be sorry for. You had to choose and I'm sure you and Sam are amazing togeth-"
The tears flowed harder to the point I couldn't breath. I then realise I was in Starbucks and started to panic. I felt the panic attack come on and Derek carried me out of the Starbucks before I passed out. He placed me in his car and the rest was unknown to me.

8:25pm. Shit.

Sam is calling me and I'd been asleep the whole time. Shit.

I wake up in a bed that's not mine. I'm clothes that are not mine. I scramble out the bed and searched for my fluxs that were on my feet. I run out the house to look for my car. Although I was in a different environment, it felt so familiar. I adjust to my setting and see my matte space grey Ferrari's glistening windows and rims before me. But I don't remember driving to this destination. I got to the car, patting myself down for my keys.

Shit.

They're inside.

I run back in to find them when the figure stands with them hanging off his finger.
"Thank you!" I said before sprinting back out, not even processing who I took my keys off. As I drive, it clicked. He'd always be there. Like he was made for me. To always be present in my life.

He's mine.

9 minutes later, I arrive at Sam's front door to find everything I ever bought him and myself outside. I cried as I pilled my belongings into my small car, hoping it all would fit in there. Whilst I picked up my stuff, I found a note;
"Your shit isn't my shit no more. I don't want anything your shitty hands have paid for anywhere near me. I would of just given your clothes to the love of my life but your fat ass' clothes is too big for her. Sayonara bitch. Go die in a gutter, you trampy hoe.":

Shit. This ungrateful little bitch ass prick. But I'm going to stop being afraid. Fuck it! Let him have his way. His loss to lose a diamond like me.

I scooped up the last of all the shit I bought him, his D&G, his Tom Ford, his Givenchy. This bitch best know he's going to look like shit now! I laugh to myself to think I wasted buying all the shit for him when I should of wasted my time with only one. My main one.

I have nowhere to go but to him. He completes me.

He's Derek.