I felt my body tingles as the heat and energy coursed through me rapidly. My chest rose and fell at a rapid pace as my heart beat quickened. The figure trapping me between him and the cool wall grazed his hands against my stomach causing me to flinch.
I tugged at his Dark locks harshly feeling the roots between my fingers causing small moans to erupt from his throat.
NO! I was quickly pulled back to reality. I withdrew my hands from his hair and dropped them to his heaving chest. I pressed harshly against the thin fabric of his shirt. He just pushed into me harder and I knew if i didn't do something i would buckle and cave at his touch.
I lifted my hand and rose it quickly as it found its way to Harrys smooth cheek. His head lurched to the side and he held his hand to his cheek rubbing the now reddening skin.
"Get out!" I bellowed pointing a shaky finger towards the door. I kept my eyes away from meeting his not trusting the tears being held behind then.
"Hailey just let m-"
"Get the fuck out of my house!" I screamed cutting him off. He looked at me with pleading eyes that I shook off. His mouth open and closed repeatedly trying to find the right words.
I rolled my eyes and sat on the couch keeping my head in my hands. I felt the weight shift next to me as another body sat next to me.
"Sweetheart please let me explain." He started. I could hear the straight remorse in his voice.
"explain what Harry!? That you take me on a fucking date agree to be friends then kiss me pretty intensly and then go around and find some fuck buddy thinking I'm just not going to care!? Please enlighten me!" I finished clenching my fists to the side digging my fingernails deeply into my palms drawing small speck of blood.
I stood there as my breathe was rapid shaky and I struggled to take in a real breathe through my gritted teeth.
"Hailey I-I kissed you on impulse You were just so-so hard to keep off of. I did it and instantly knew that you wanted nothing more than to be friends so I tried to leave it at that, but as I sat at home or went out no matter what I did your face came to my mind. Yeah I shagged that girl but I was just trying to get you out of my fucking head! Its been driving me crazy ever since I saw you at that club!" He ran his fingers through his hair pacing back and forth whilst pulling his lip ring between his teeth.
I was completely dumbfounded and I just didn't know what to say. I looked down at my feet and tried to pull a clear thought from my head but it was impossible.
"I just...I..well...I mean...I think you...you should go..I..I can't think straight right now." I ran my fingers through my hair practically ripping it out at the follicle. I saw him out of the corner of my eye give a small nod before walking to the door and slamming it behind him.
What is going on?!
He couldn't actually have me on his mind 24/7 right? No...he's just saying all the right things trying to get me to fall into his trap. I couldn't make that mistake again.
Memories of him came flooding back to me.
you worthless bitch, why are you even here no body cares about you'! youre delusional! leave find a hole and die!
The words he pelted at me that day had stung. Carving crack after crack into my heart.
I felt the hot tears fall down my cheeks as i replayed the words he had crushed my fragile demeanor with.
I can't go through this. Not again. I built those walls and I couldnt just let someone whose good with words and has boyish charm let those walls come tumbling down.
Why did I let this sort of thing happen to me?
I always pushed people away and that's how I stayed safe and my heart intact. He had hurt me causing deep emotional trauma and I couldnt let anyone in.
Ever.
The thought of me letting Harry in or anyone for that matter just feels foreign. I don't know why I kept the idea far....far away from being even considered but I knew that if it never crossed me id be safe. In control. and keeping the cracks of my heart that had finally begun to fill from being re opended.
Safe.
I went up into my room and layed down letting the soft duvet swallow me into a soft cacoon. I sighed playing my thoughts of everything in my head.
No Harry=No heartbreak
