Scissors

VII

Greta and I spent lunch time together everyday. It was exhausting at first, i was always worrying about what she liked. i was so conscious at first, i didn't know what she wanted. It was all so confusing, Like being lost in the jungle and knowing you have to find a way to survive, but you just don't know how. Sometimes she made us sit at the furthest corner of the music room, on the floor, just below the window. We would talk for so long, i would forget who i was talking to.

"why are you so shy?" she asked one day.

I was smiling up till then, i wanted to joke it off and tell her that i was a pretty jovial person with a thing for not committing to friends, but the stupid crack just dies on my lips.

"Why do you think i am shy?" I asked, toying with the multicoloured lace in her rainbow coloured sneaker, i suddenly wondered if she paints her toenails. It was a stupid thought, almost intimate and it made me blush with embarrassment at my self. I did that a lot with Greta, the way i don't know what to do with myself killed me.

She misinterpreted my sudden redness and grins broadly.

"see" she said, leaning towards me, her newly frizzy hair falling into her face. She impatiently pushed her hair away from her face, and i fought to keep myself from laughing at her.

"damn hair" she snapped and pulled one of those colorful scrunchy bands that she kept on her wrist off. She made her hair into a stubborn looking band.

"Why don't you keep it straight anymore?' i asked her.

She gave me a wistful smile and shook her head. "who is looking at me, Carter?"

"I am" I mumbled.

"do you think my frizzy hair is ugly?" she asked "because if you do,i will straighten it"

Her face was unexpressive and flat, Doc. So i told her the truth. Greta was black three or so times removed, so her hair tended to be somewhere between wooly and normal, curly on her best days, but mostly frizzy.

"Greta, you look okay." I said shrugging "Straight hair or not"

"you say it so.....by the way" Her eyes slanted

"that is because it is" I looped the shoelace about my index finger "No one cares, Greta and if they do...fuck them. What's their business with your hair"

Her grey eyes scanned me and i looked away, uncomfortably. I did not know if i had said the wrong thing, but i did not want to be fried by her intense eyes. Her eyes were worse than Jason's.

They were probing and cool when they had to be. steely gray with hints of a brownish green that did nothing to soften the probing. Jason's Probing was a lot like her's, except that with his, you could never tell what he was thinking, he did not let the things he felt about you show on his face. You just got the over all feeling, a lot later, when he felt like sharing. His intense Honey eyes made me so damn Jealous, i wondered what was wrong with me. Even then with Greta's eyes on me, i could not stop thinking of Jason.

I wanted to kill him for knowing about the rumour. Why didn't he come to sort it out with me.....probably because of the last time I let him down.

"Carter?" Greta's voice pulls me out of the hollow in my mind.

"yes?"

"what are you thinking about?"

"you" i said, it was the right thing to say.

"Really?" she smiled wryly

"yes," i nodded. What, Doc!? it was a partial truth.

"will you eat lunch with me tomorrow in the cafeteria?" She asked taking my hand away from her shoe lace and into her's.