Scissors

IX

It was a Friday evening when i heard a knock on my front door. I was in the middle of tucking my mother in bed. she had passed out again after indulging in yet another bottle of whiskey. We were running out of money fast too so, i had put off most of the lights and electronics to save up on the electric bill. I did not want to think of what would happen to us by the end of the year.

I dragged myself to the front door and opened it. There in all his glory was, Jason.

I don't want to talk about how my breath caught or how my hands twitched........i just want to get on to the point.

"Carter" His voice was gruff with the cold of the outside. The black jacket he was wearing had it's collar flipped up against the wind.

"What are you doing here?" I said. I don't think i put enough feeling into it because jason looked me up and down before saying.

"Carter, are you alright?" He said.

"Yes" i snapped "now what do you want"

Maybe if i had been less, like that........Jason would have left me, but he had come there looking for any sign of denial.

"I need to talk to you" Most people use the word 'need' as they please, not Jason. His needs, if i remember, were serious passions that needed attention.

"you have to go, Jason" i said to him in one last futile attempt to impress my will on him. Like i said, futile. Jason pushed past me and into the house.

"why is the place dark?" he asked looking around. Most of the lights were off and the place had an eerie stillness that even i could not get used to.

"what are you doing here?" I asked closing the door and wincing as i flipped the switch on. The white fluorescent light bathed the living room with it's unnatural glow and i could not help but think of Me and Jason. I guess that was how it was with us, people had seen us together, Jason's light somehow painting a different picture of me for them to see.

"I heard you and Greta broke up" He said, spinning around in the middle of the room, taking up a feel of the wreckage i had tried to keep in place. I had done a good job, he could not sense anything wrong.

"So?" I said, too dispirited to give him some back "That was three weeks ago"

He stopped spinning and looked at me. "i'm sorry Carter" he said not sorry at all. I could sense his amusement in his voice.

"What do you want Jason?" i asked him, in my mind i could see this going one way. I could see myself winning over him, but this was reality and no such thing could happen.

"I want you to tell me everything" He said.

I was floored. What was this?

He had to be joking. There had to be a point where he just broke into a gale of laughter, but no such thing came. He just stood there, waiting. He had a kind of cocky, yet submissive pose to his body.......like he was preparing to be blown off. He was expecting my scorn.......

"Where do you want me to start?" I asked giving into my deepest desires. Yes, i am an idiot, i was then and i still am so, don't expect anything more than what you have, doc.

"Can i sit?" He asked motioning to the sofa that still had a dark stain of mom's vomit. I caught the questioning look on his face when he saw the stain.

"Sure, but mind that" I said pointing at the obvious.

I rushed into the kitchen and got an old towel and a bucket of warm water. If Jason wanted to say something, he shut his mouth.