The Whispers

Insight of Beca Mitchell (5)

January 15 1991

As a month past by, I came to the conclusion that I'm fucking insane. Not only am I hearing voices, I'm seeing things too. I think it's all the hits from my dad or maybe it was the time Aubrey shove me against the shower stall? I don't know but all I know is I'm insane and I'm afraid of what I might do.

There's this one little boy I keep seeing; His mouth is stitch and he has no eyes, but he talks to me...

He shows up in my room whenever my father beats me or when I lock myself in my room, bawling my eyes out- he appears and just tells me how pretty I look...

He told me his name is Thomas and that his daddy use to hit him like my dad does to me- is this my way of cooping? But at least it's nice to talk to someone else than you.

God- I don't know why I keep referring you as a living person- maybe it's because you're the only thing that's keeping me sane?

I haven't wrote to you since November but I'll catch you up what happen since then.

So Christmas happen- guess what I got under my tree- oh wait I didn't have a tree. I couldn't afford to buy one- heh. But what's the best part is for a present my father beat me with his Christmas belt- it's green.

My mother did get up from her bed, she rush up to the bathroom to throw up then she lay back down. She smells like puke and filth....

You may be wondering about school- I'm hardly there.

I ditch fourth and fifth period so I can get to my job in time. I'm manger at the supermarket now- more hours yet more cash for food.

Anyway, people still hate me; especially Aubrey.

She has this hatred for me and I don't know why. She shoved me against the lockers once again this time it knock me out for a little. Little miss blonde thinks she's tough but I'll make her pay- I'll make everyone one of them pay-

Dear god where did that come from?

Can I be honest book of mine, I feel like ending my life right now. The loneliness crept up to me and the depression wraps around me so tightly and it feels like I'm screaming 'help me' but no one can hear me. No. They can hear me screaming for help, they just don't want to help me...

I sometimes hear soft whispers from the bathroom, whispering about taking happy pills. Then there was the bottle rolling at the foot of my bed. I almost gave in but I can't.  I can't let my mother suffer with my father alone. I have to help my mom.

I been saving money in a jar. That money is my mother and I way out of this hell hole. The moment I collect enough money, I'm carrying my mother in a bus straight to San Diego- away from LA- away from this.

Hopefully it'll be soon....

Well Book of mine, I must go.

Sincerely,
Rebeca Mitchell

School got me all stress out guys! But at least I got good grades😂 anyway I feel as this chapter was lousy written and I'm sorry for it, but quickly wrote this since I haven't update since August and I needed to update. I think the next chapter is the final chapter so prepare yourself for the ending :D

thanks for reading

Comment your opinions!