All in time ( zayn malik)

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Alex P.O.V

I wake up and I'm in zayns bed . He's laying right next to me . I feel horrible for cutting my self. I needed to feel pain . Zayn was upset because I let him down . I needed to be hurt . I cut myself and them poured alcohol over the cuts to make it hurt worse . And now I'm here next to zayn . I walk up and go into the kitchen and sit at the table .

I look down at my wrist ' why did I do this to him ?

To me ?'

I started to cry only every once in a while I would be sobbing loudly but other than that , they were silent sobs . I heard footsteps and I didn't bother to look to see . Next thing I knew Louis was sitting next to me .

I looked up with my puffy eyes and he looked disappointed . I imagined that's how I would end up today . Getting disappointed looks from everyone . " how are you ?"

" I'm tired .." " you've been asleep since 4 yesterday afternoon ."

" well excuse me for being in pain ."

We'll excuse us for fucking caring , for staying up all night worrying ,wondering why you cut , and why you did right there . Are we that bad? Do we hurt you ? Why ?" He snapped , and I deserved it . " I'm sorry Louis ." " I'm sorry for bringing out my claws on you . I'm not usually this femine in the mornings ." I laugh and try to smile . " oh love , it will be okay . " he walks into the kitchen and he starts to make breakfast . " Louis . what are you making ? " toast and cereal ." I chuckle and he gives me a glare .

" I didn't say I was a chef ." Then walked in Liam . " hey Louis , hey Alex ." He gave me the look of the day . Great . Just . A-m-a-z-i-n-g.

But the time I was done figitting with my finger nails everyone was up and eating cereal. I look up and see zayn walking in " hey guys ." They all chorus their hellos and go on eating . "Damn y'all are awkward ." Niall said grabbing more cereal . " Alex we need to talk before avan gets here "

I jump out of my seat and collapse on to the ground . " why in the hell would he be in London ."

"Hmmm I don't know you cut your self and didn't tell us ." Zayn said with attitude "we'll excuse me for not telling you all of my business 24/7 !"

I spat back at him with my anger

" were friends Alex ,you couldn't tell us something that important ?" Harry said calmly

" he is the only one who knew about this ." Liam said calmly as well

"but he'll be disappointed in me."

" we all are ."zayn snapped . I jumped up and ran into zayn's room. I layed on the bed sobbing . This is why I did it . Why I hurt my self . Everyone was disappointed in me . My parents were disappointed with my job choice . My friends are disappointed with my decisions And know zayn , the boys and avan are disappointed in me cause I started up again . I wanted to stop not just for me for zayn . And avan I told him I would it's just I'm far to stressed out and I can't take it anymore . I'm a. Failure . If I die no one would care cause they would just me disappointed in me.

I hear a knock on the door and I sit up to regain myself I hear the boys open the door and speak to someone . I can tell that it is avan by the tone of voice . I stand up and walk out of the room . I see them all sitting in the coach talking it take a" Alex " I look up and see avan . He looks tired and stressed and upset Use And it's all because of me because I cut .

" I would like to say I'm say that I'm sorry to all of you . Niall ,Harry, Liam and Louis I never told you so you never knew and I feel like I should have . Avan I'm sorry for not keeping my promise to stop I thought u was ok but I'm not and I will do better this time I promise . Zayn , I'm sorry I never told you . You should know if your girlfriend cuts or not but you didn't . And it's my fault and I'm sorry to all of you . " I go and sir down at the table and start crying . Avan walks in and takes a seat next to me . " you can stay 2 more days , after that your going home . " I look up with a sad look on my face .

" where ?" " either you go to rehab or you let your self get better by tell your friends , which should have happened a long time ago . "

" I'll get help on my own ."

A/n :

I'm soooo sorry guys ! I've been so busy and it's just been hectic and I hate my self for not update and much as a should . I know it's short but to bad I need to update some thing . I'm getting farther in my other story then I am in this story and I just started that one so I needed to update some thing . I love y'all soo much and just bare with me here. Vote.