Love In The Middle Of A Firefight - Brendon Urie

Chapter 12

A/N: 3:39 AM, A VERY LONG CHAPTER AND IM FRICKIN ZAZZED
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After a long night awake, I decide to make the most of every second I have with Brendon and Ryan. I had been thinking a lot about how they're both gonna leave me in the end, so why not live in the moment and enjoy them while I have them?

At least I'll have memories as well as scars.

Monday rolls around and I try to have a more positive attitude towards everything I do, even if it's just the little things like letting more light into the room or picking something up when I've dropped it.

I get to work slightly early and get everything ready before Ryan gets here, putting flyers on each table as usual and turning the sign for the hundredth time.

He walks in after about a quarter of an hour, shocked to see me.
"Well look who's early for once," he laughs, taking off his jacket and tossing it under the counter, as he scans the room with an impressed expression.

"What's gotten you in a good mood?... Oh my god you need to tell me everything that happened with Brendon on Friday," he grins, sitting on the counter as I push myself up next to him, trying to stop myself from smiling at the memory of being with Brendon and seeing his expression of awe at the glamour and atmosphere of the casino.

"Slow your roll," I laugh at his enthusiasm. "I'm not in a 'good mood', just have a new outlook on life, that's all. And maybe you need to explain yourself Ross, as this is the first time you've been so enthusiastic about Brendon and I," I reply with an eyebrow raised as he flushes red. God, that boy blushes so easily.

"Yeah, well... you can have Brendon, I like someone else." He says shyly.
"Oh my God, Dallon?!"
"Hey, how did you know?!"
"Dude, you don't even know anyone else, it had to be him," I explain, now laughing at how Ryan thought I wouldn't figure it out.

"D-don't tell h-him," he stutters, and I can see the worry written across his expression, so I assure him his secret is safe with me. "Now it's your turn," he says, crossing his arms.

"Okay, okay." I give in. "He just showed me the casino within the arcade, no big deal," I say casually, pretending to inspect my cuticles. I playing it off as something small, but Ryan knows better than to fall for it, and probes further for more information.

"And? Was it romantic? Did he tell you something special? Win you something? Fucking propose? Come on!" He exclaims, shaking me by the shoulders as he shouts the last part.

"Ryan, chill! He just told me about his family and stuff but I had to go because it got past 7.00," I explain, and I see some of the joy on his face be replaced with concern as he hears about the time issue.

"Oh, well shit... did she... you know?" he asks, and I feel bad for him. He's always been sensitive talking about it, but he knows I don't want pity, and I'm thankful for that.

"Well, yeah, but that's not what I'm worried about. Hell, I'm used to it. The thing is, as I was running off, Brendon had hold of my jacket so the sleeve went up, and he kinda saw... it all." I say, letting out a sigh as some of my 'positivity wall' starts to crumble, and I feel myself giving up on it already.

"Oh," he says in response, before adding, "well... if you look at the bright side-"
"I'm tired of looking at the bright side," I say, and put my head in my hands. "I'm always pretending everything's fine," I say under my breath, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Well... you could always tell Brendon," he suggests.
"Ryan, are you kidding?" I begin, "It took me ages to tell you about it, man, and haven't you seen how many girls are all over him? You're delusional if you think he wouldn't prefer one of them when he finds out how messed up I am. Why would he bother, Ryan. Why would someone buy something broken to fix it, rather than buying a new one for a cheaper price?" I explain, and the more I say it the more I believe it. "Thanks for trying to help, though," I add onto the end when I remember I'm talking to Ryan, not wanting to hurt his feelings.