The Old Book Store

Words do no justice to those who cannot speak.

If a fair looking man chooses to marry a wealthy woman, nothing of it is thought. But if a fair looking girl chooses to marry a wealthy man, she is looked upon as a gold digger, only out for the money. This is what occurred to Miss Butler down the road, and at the time she was only 23. Mr Tanet, a very wealthy, handsome man, with a crude sense of humour married her, and when this happened, not only her reputation was ruined, but so was his. Even his family looked down upon him. Though my family occasionally laughed at the situation, marriage should be an article of love, not greed. When I get married, I don't care how, when, or where. I only care of what comes of it, and how that is only the beginning to our love. Though, I have not yet met my ideal man, and that, to me, is the hardest part.

There were three things I promised myself when I was 14.

1: Never get a tattoo

2: Never take drugs

3: Never divorce

Now I think of it, I was very pesemistic, and could have let go on the 'never's a little more. But, I'm sure as I grow, so does my list. Number 1 was influenced by my Uncle Rodney, who is covered head to toe in tattoos, who is now an old man covered in ink. If you want to encrypt something into you, put it into your brain, not on your skin, or at least do it in pencil. Number 2 was influenced by my half brother, who, when he was 14, started taking drugs, got into the wrong crowd and ended up in jail numerous times. He is my dad's son, and for my fathers sake, I promised myself I wouldn't take drugs.

Number 3 was not influenced by one person I knew directly. When I was growing up, my father was not in my life. I only met him when I was 12, and to this day, there is something in my brain saying, "Never put anyone through that."

I don't really believe in destiny. I don't believe that everyone has a certain someone that is their true love. If it was so, why are so many people in love with their husband or wife? If destiny were real, not many would be married and in love. You have the choice to fall in love, it doesn't just happen, you have to make it. So, whenever I find myself coming too close to someone in a romantic way, I hide. It's a natural instinct saying, "If you kiss me, you'll regret it." Because what if I fall in love too early, and we change as we grow up, and go our separate ways? What if we have children, and they have to live half of their childhood going from their mother's house to their father's house? I could never do that to someone.

So I resort to shutting myself down, into a little ball. I sit, I read, I endlessly watch seasons of Buffy. Repeat.

When I was younger, I watched couples. Not in a creepy way, but I studied them. From the young innocent 16 year old girls, blushing over their school crushes, to the old 80 year old men who still cuddle and love their wife. I wondered what it was like to kiss someone in a passionate way. What it was like to be in love with someone, I did not know. Do I now? Probably not.

One day, I'll get around to writing a book about my life. It is actually pretty interesting when it's put into a story. I could be a famous author like Dickens or Shakespeare and be remember through generations for a marvelous book that could everyone's eye. I would need a catchy title, something or somewhere I love. I can relax there or use it to calm my senses. I might seek solitude there or use it for some peace and quiet.

I'll call it....

The Old Book Store

Proudly Written by Maribella Fitzgerald