My heart blog/diary

Hiya, so at the time that I'm writing this it's literally midnight so sorry if this doesn't make sense. You might have seen my blog that I have, or have seen it on my instagram and thanks to that you know that I have a heart condition.

At the moment I'm a week away from a possible diagnosis, and to be truthful, I'm probably the most anxious I've ever felt about something. I've decided that I'm gonna write my 'blog' on here as well as on blogger because I think that more people use wattpad and if there's anyone else out there that's in a similar situation to me then I don't want them to feel like your alone and that there's no one who can help you or has a similar if not the same thing as you. I know what that feels like, last year when I was at the hospital to try and find out what it was my doctor basically thought that I was over-exaggerating and they were nothing, and that really hurt. Also I'm sort of an anomaly- I'm 13 with a heart condition that I've had since I was 9. If I'm honest I find it annoying how it has taken my doctor to this year to realise that I'm not exaggerating and that what I experience could be bad.

When I was 9 I remember having an episode for the first time. I was out playing in the snow near my house when I felt a fluttering in my chest. I went home and when I told my mum she was really concerned. She got our neighbour who was really nice but when that lady tried to take my pulse she literally said that my pulse was too fast to count. By that time I was literally petrified, scared that I was going to have to go into hospital. My mum phoned up our GP, I think it was, it may have been our A+E place, but when my mum told them about my really rapid heartbeat ect they just said that I should take some small sips of water and if it continues for over I think it was half an hour then to call an ambulance or take me to the hospital I'm not sure which. I'm sure I've read somewhere that I should have been put into hospital then.. I wish I had really because that would mean that I would probably have a diagnosis now. My heart eventually went back to normal, 25 minutes after it had started.

I had another episode a day later which was the same and my mum and dad decided to take me to a+e just in case even after it had stopped after 30 minutes again. When we got there they monitored my pulse for a few minutes and then we talked to a doctor but they thought I was fine. I can't remember much because it's nearly 5 years ago now since my first one (in feb).

Since then I still have these episodes, altogether between my first an the one before I went to the doctor for the second time (feb 2009-July 2012) I had about 11. I can't remember all of my episodes because I was quite young then and it was a while ago but I remember having a few in my primary school and drama group. Over that time the legnth of my episodes was about the same and the most it went to was 35 minutes. July 2012 my mum decided to take me back to the hospital to get more tests seeming as they weren't going away. When we finally got an appointment he did an ultrasound on my heart and an ECG but they both showed up nothing. He questioned me on my symptoms and I think I had a few more by then, I now felt faint during an episode and really sleepy afterwards and they had become slightly more frequent now at one every two months. He literally questioned me if I had had 11 heart attacks... He didn't ask it directly, but when we had to go to the ECG department later on I saw a poster about about heart attacks and he had asked me all of the symptoms on the poster! Not sure how a healthy otherwise 12 year old could have had one heart attack let alone 11 and still be walking!! I was given a MOON heart monitor that if I felt my heart doing it's thing then I would put it to my chest and it would record it. I didn't have it while we had it as we only were allowed it for a month so it was pointless.

This year has gradually got worser in terms of my heart. Not only do I have my long episodes but also second long ones that I think are anxiety or panic attacks, which I'm not that bothered about but they're still annoying. At the beginning of this year I had started to have them once every month and a half but with an episode I got-

Headaches

Drowsiness

Unable to walk without support

Dizziness

Paleness

And I got really hungry

Also my heart would switch between pounding and fluttering. By then my average length was about 40-45 minutes leaving me exhausted afterwards. In August this year I went to see my doctor again and they said that I had to have a 24hr heart monitor and an ECG. Both showed up nothing, but on my next appointment I got to talk to my doctor again and I had a chance to tell him all of my new symptoms and how they were getting slightly more frequent and longer. Before this he thought that I had palpitations or something but I did research and I think you can't be having palpitations if it lasts consecutively for over 30 minutes. My doctor was actually quite concerned about what I was having and finally believed me! He made me have a full blood test/count and also I had to take home another MOON heart monitor and a 24hr urine test to do😳

A week after I had the tests I went on holiday to Turkey which was awesome but at our hotel we had water slides (not massive ones) and when I went down one it triggered another heart episode. This was definitely my worst one I've ever had and I really hope that I don't have one as bad as that again. I got it as I came off the bottom of the slide and I knew immediately what it was. Oh, and that's another thing about when I have an episode, since 2013 you can see my chest vibrating as I have my episode... Which was slightly awkward when I was wearing a bikini too!!

My mum said I went really pale, I had to use my mum as a support when I had to walk from the pool side to our hotel room. I also are like a monster and had all of the other symptoms too. And I had a killer headache... That really did kill it was awful. I couldn't get it to go whatsoever even when I tried the breathing exercises but it eventually stopped... After an hour and a half :( it sucked every last bit of energy from me and as soon as it had stopped even though it was only half five I slept for two hours and was only woken because my mum wanted me to eat something! And then two days after I had another episode after this girl fell on top of me as we got to the bottom of the slides and she pushed me underwater by accident. Thankfully that only lasted half an hour but the symptoms were still awful. And another thing that happened both times that scared the life out of me was that just before my heart went back to normal rate my heart stopped dead for 4-5 seconds... It scared me so much the first time it did that and it does now, I definitely have to tell my doctor about that when I go.

That's another thing, next Monday (2nd December) I'm getting my results back from the bloods ect, which I have been constantly worried about because I could be diagnosed then, which is why I haven't updated my other story because whenever I try to write it something about my heart overtakes my mind and I'm worried again... Sorry about that I'm gonna write it some time definitely.. Probably. XD

Sorry at how ultra long this is but it's a general introduction to my story with my heart and I've got at least 3 more updates over the next few days from what I've wrote on my blog although the next update might say a few of the same things as this one and after that I will update it the same time I update my blogger.

Feel free to comment ect :)

~Jessie xx