My heart blog/diary

Appointment+ other stuff~ 11th/21st feb '14

*I put 11th as well as 21st as the dates because 11th was my appointment date

Right now I should probably be either finishing the two chapters that I've been writing for Adoption (I literally have spent 1 hour 30 mins at least on planning+ writing them!) or I should be sleeping- but I was writing on my laptop and my mum turned off the wifi, and when they get home after being out I usually just write on my iPod as it's less obvious and easy to hide, and I can't be bothered to sleep :P

Sooooo.. I have actually needed to write this for over a week, but on the 7th of feb (the day after I had my blood tests) even though a week before my doctor told me I wouldn't see my heart specialist for 3 months, I got a letter saying that I had an appointment with my heart specialist for the 11th of feb!

At the appointment, when I went in I saw that there was actually 3 people in the room- my cardiologist specialist, my paediatric doctor and also the training doctor that came to 'interview' me on the day I got diagnosed, but a few hours before I actually was diagnosed! She was really nice when I saw her when I was being 'interviewed' and was generally interested in what I had to say. I feel bad saying this but I don't actually know her name... When she told me I was still a bit shaken up and I was tired too so I didn't remember it :/

After I'd had the interview I felt really happy and I even felt good to the extent that even if I hadn't of got a diagnosis that day then I would still be happy because she said that junior doctors have to go off a textbook for some things, like with the heart, and they don't always get to know how the patients actually feel when certain things happen to them/when patients get given drugs so the fact that I could describe what it felt like when my heart has an episode and when I got given the adenosine was really helpful to her!

Annnnyywayy back to the appointment, so she was just sitting in taking notes or something, I've not got the slightest clue what my paediatrician was doing (XD) and my cardiac specialist explained in more detail what's different with my heart, what happens when my heart has an episode and possible treatments.

He explained more to my mum than me about having an ablation* because I knew most of it already but he was saying that the best age to have an ablation is aged 12-25, so if I wanted to I could have it now. He said that it's suggested you have it before you get middle aged and past that because the older a person gets generally means that the persons episodes will get worse. And he also explained that if I was to have an ablation aged or older than 18, then I'd have to be awake for it!!!! That would be horrible 😳

He said also that sometimes the extra pathway is too close to the normal pathway, so they can't get rid of it, or they don't realise how close the two pathways are, burn through the extra one and accidentally get the normal one too(cutting off electricity to the whole heart)... Which means that they then have to put a pacemaker in!!

I've talked about it with my mum+ dad, and I definitely want an ablation at some point. I'm going to stay on tablets for a while, but I'm considering putting my name on the waiting list that takes 1-3 months I think, so that my op will be either October, November or December this year! I want it done reasonably soon as WPW can be triggered by anything, and I don't want it going off just before I take a GCSE exam or anything like that😁

I think that it's a good job that I've been to 'busy' to update this for the time that it has, as I've been quite.. Depressed? I guess that's the word. There's this other stuff that's happening with ex-friends and b*tches (no other word for them) that means that me and my best friend had to write down everything that's happened with it (it dates back to October 2012) and it re-brought stuff back up that we'd both unconsciously forgotten because it wasn't nice having them on our minds.

Now I think about it, I think that until today my depression+ anxiety levels have been especially heigh for what they usually are. By the way, I'm not diagnosed as that, but I'm 90% sure I've at least got anxiety :/

I can be so on edge and over-thinky sometimes!! But I could be worse!.. It's only know that I realise how much more happy I've been today (21st of feb) than yesterday.

And I just realised that it's 7 months since I had an Op for my appendix out while in Greece (!). It seems like so long ago now aha.

Aaaanndd I got to something yesterday that I've not done in over 7 and a half months because of recovery from my appendix/weather/my heart- I got to go on a bike ride!! I actually love bike riding so much :3

Holy cow my eye just had a massive freak out! I have allergies that show up in my eyes (I don't know what they are for certain) and they randomly attack me making me itch my eyes like mad, or sometimes they'll just start crying- it can get so awkward! But I guess I kinda ask for it- there's a chance that it might be cat fur, and I'm currently lying next to a (mad) cat that is right next to my face and she sheds hair like mad..! Just realised I've got an eye test checkup in 2 weeks, is it sad that I actually enjoy eye check ups :P

*an ablation is an operation where a tube thing is put down either a vein in your neck or in your groin and they push it in until they get to your heart. They then either freeze or burn the extra pathway with the end of the tube thing and that can cure you!

This update is so long! I need to get some sleep now it's already 2:32am oops! Dayum I only just realised how scatterbrained I've gone in just 20(ish) minutes! I was adding in that * at the top, and as I was writing the reason my mind couldn't be bothered to remember the correct reason but it wanted me to just put 'because yolo' XD (me and my friend use it as a sarcasm joke thingy.. Yah :P)

You know when you get to that state of tiredness that it's like your drunk? I'd forgotten what that was like but that is so me right now XP

I should just go to sleep now before I write anymore slight nonsense 😝

* I'm updating this early so that I know I've done it, though the only reason I'm awake is because of taking my tablets. I was awake until at the least 3:30an last night and my 'allergies' randomly escalated so that I had a bad nose and awful eyes, but idk if I've just got a weird cold or not in terms of my sneezes because I've had them for 6 weeks! (Not constant but random sneezes) although last night my nose was way worse than usual

:/

It could have been worse though so I'm glad I got to sleep for then! I'm gonna sleep now I'm so tired still,

, ignore how bad this update will be, I'll check it over once I wake up again

~Jessie :) xx