Day 5:
I woke up dizzy, and there was a lot more beeping than usual. Was I dying?
“No silly you’re just hungry, you haven’t eaten in 24 hours.” I guess I didn’t say that in my mind after all. It was the same nurse as yesterday, and I remembered I was going to ask her how old she was.
“Hey Macey, how old are you?”
“I’m 19 I’m currently attending university to become a doctor and they’re trainning me by starting me off as a nurse” she explains while wheeling in my food.
“I see.”
“Do you need help eating?”
“No, I got it. Thanks though.”
“Okay, if you need help be sure to tell me I should be right outside the door, here’s a button, when you need something all you do is press it.”
“Okay thank you Macey.”
She’s still to that used to me referring to her by her first name. “Okay.” she adds as she starts to walk out the door.
“Wait Macey!” I say maybe a little louder than what was necessary.
“Yes Alex?”
“You’re gonna make an amazing doctor.” I felt like it was absolutely necessary to say that, why? I really don’t know, but it was totally worth it when I saw that I had caused her to smile.
“Thanks.” she says except this time I don’t stop her when she walks out. Instead I focus my view on the food that is currently sitting in front of me.
There was a bowl of cereal, a carton of milk, a cup of Jell-o, and a carton of orange juice. Basically what I eat every morning when I actually do have time to eat.
I’m halfway through my Jell-o when I see someone come in, apparently another doctor, “Hey doc.” I mutter not even worrying about the fact that I was talking with food in my mouth.
The doctor on the other hand does seem to notice this and winces at the sight of my chewed food. “Yes… Hello Alex.”
“Is everything okay?” I ask suddenly imagining all the worst-case scenarios that I could think of.
“Yes everything is fine, I just came in to tell you that thankfully, you are recovering quite quickly and you should be able to leave either tomorrow or thursday.”I let out a sigh of relief, maybe it was a little too loud, causing the doctor to chuckle as he’s writing something down. “Relieved?”
“Yeah,” I beam smiling from ear to ear.
“Well I’ll be leaving now but if you need anything remember that you press the button and your nurse should be here to assist you in whatever way possible.
“Okay thank you.”
Right when the doctor left the room my smile disappeared, I don’t know when or why but at one point in that conversation I imagined me attending Michael’s funeral, this made me realize that not only do I need to step up my game but that I haven’t done anything to help save Michael. Have I even uncovered any ‘deep secrets that my family has been hiding?’ No I haven’t and let’s just say that all of these thoughts at once became too overwhelming and I became to cry, out of self-pity, out of fear, anger, frustration, and even a little pain, because believe it or not, crying hurt, it was making my wounds sting.
“Is something hurting? Are you okay?” I look up to see a very worried Macey, I liked her, she was down to earth, and she was being a pretty good nurse. What am I saying, pretty good?, no, she was great.
